The Art of Finding Jasmine Rose Peters

27

'Self-care is the best thing you can give yourself.'

~JRP

Hospitals.

Hayden had no idea why she didn't like them. Maybe it was the smell of disinfectants, or the faces of the sick people, or the amount of germs in the place. Whatever it was, Hayden knew she would rather be anywhere but there.

A small part of her mind wondered whether the reason she didn't like hospitals was attributed to the fact that her mother spent her last days on earth in one. Maybe she blamed hospitals for taking away her mother and making her life as miserable as it was.

Hayden tried not to touch anything as she and Calvin made their way to Mable's room. She had enough problems as it is; she didn't need any new ones in the form of a sickness.

Calvin stopped outside a children's ward. He glanced at Hayden warily. She was clutching her jacket tightly and panting.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said, trying to convince both him and herself that she was fine in the place. She had to do it. She had to give the little girl her necklace and see her progress. She had been after all asking for her.

He nodded and gave her a reassuring smile before opening the door.

There were two people in the room.

Little Mable licking a lollipop as she talked to a man in a white coat, who was definitely the doctor. Contrary to how Hayden expected to find her, she wasn't connected to any machines and looked perfectly fine to her.

Calvin shook the doctor's hand, and Hayden gave him a smile. She approached the bed cautiously.

"Hey," she said to the little girl.

"Hello," the girl replied, her lollipop in hand.

"She has been discharged," the doctor said. "I need you to sign some documents before I allow you to take her home." He directed his last statement at Calvin.

"I'll be right back," Calvin said, and followed the doctor out.

It was only Hayden and Mable left in the room.

Hayden didn't know what to say to the girl. She hardly had any encounters with kids and literally knew nothing to say to them.

"When is Mommy coming to pick me up?" Mable asked, staring at Hayden expectantly.

What the hell? Calvin had told her on their way there that her mother had sadly passed away. She had thought if not Calvin, then at least the doctor would tell the girl that her mother has passed away. After all, he was a paediatrician. He should be trained in such matters.

Why would they leave it to her—a seventeen-year-old who barely knew the kid, or any other kid for that matter? She rubbed her face. She was going to kill Calvin when he comes back.

"What?" Hayden asked nervously.

"Dr. Sanders said Mommy would come pick me up."

Hayden felt like punching the doctor. It would've been better if they had just refrained from telling the kid, but lying to her was not right.

Hayden took a deep breath.

"Your mommy is in heaven," Hayden said slowly. "You understand that, right?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I do." The girl was acting very matured for her age. Maybe she thought she could see her mother again, or heaven was not far away.

"It means she's not coming back."

Mable looked at her with large eyes. "Ever?"

"Ever, but she asked me to give you this." Hayden unpinned the necklace from her neck and handed it to her. "Do you want me to put it on for you?"

"Yeah," she replied, brushing tears from her face.

She collected the necklace back and put it on for her. Hayden felt connected to the girl in a way she had never felt with anyone before. Their mothers had both died, and they both owned a pair of necklaces to remind them of their mothers.

"Where is your father?"

Mable shrugged. "I don't know. It was always me and my mom."

Hayden had always wondered where the girl's father was, and the question had been burning her since the first day she laid her eyes on them playing a game.

"Oh."

There was one thing they didn't have in common. Hayden was waiting for the girl to tell her her father was deceased, but it seemed she didn't know.

It was quiet after that. Mable had finished her lollipop and was starting absentmindedly at the room, and Hayden was on her phone checking her messages—like she had any.

"Hayden, can I speak to you?" Calvin's head popped into the room.

About time, Hayden thought. She nodded and followed him out.

There weren't much people in the bright and colourful hallway, and Hayden was more than glad.

"What the hell, Calvin?" she asked. "You left me to tell her her mother is dead. Do you know how hard that is?" She stared at him with arched eyebrows.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay?" he said. "I was gonna tell her but..."

"You didn't, and I did." Hayden glared at him.

"Look, that's not the problem. She has no parents now."

"Yeah, I know, she told me," Hayden replied. What was the big deal with her not having any parents? She, Hayden, didn't have parents, and she turned out just fine—maybe a bit damaged, but still breathing.

"Oh," he said. "It's still not the problem, though."

"Then what is it?"

He rubbed the back of his head exasperatedly before he checked to see no one was listening. "I lied and told them I knew her."

Hayden didn't say anything but stared at him. Why would he say that?

"Why?" she asked after her head had wrapped around what he had said.

"The doctors wouldn't treat her if I didn't, and I thought her father would come and pick her up. So everything would be okay. I don't even know what we're gonna do."

Hayden let out a small laugh. "You mean, what you're gonna do."

"Come on, Hayden," he begged, "you have to help me on this one."

He looked at her pleadingly. He had never asked her for anything before, the least she could do was help him out after everything he had done for her. "What do you want me to do?" she asked, glaring at him.

"I could hug you right now."

Hayden kept quiet. She wanted to ignore how her heartbeat sped up when he said that part, but she couldn't.

He laughed awkwardly once he realized what he had said. "What I meant was, can you take her home?" Hayden gave him a look. "Just for a couple of days before I figure this out."

"What do you want me to tell Lyra?" she asked.

"Look, Lyra will understand, but my parents will kill me if they find out. Just please do it, Hayd."

"Hayd?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Come on."

"Fine, but you owe me one."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you."

They opened the door and entered the room once more.

"Are you ready to go home, Mable?" Calvin asked the little girl.

"Yeah, Cal."

Cal? What was this? Nickname day?