The Art of Finding Jasmine Rose Peters

12

'Who knew life would be this hard?'~JRP

Trigger Warning. Read at your own risk!

Days had passed since Hayden had asked — begged — Calvin to leave her apartment. She had expected him to ignore her — which would've been so much easier — after seeing her in such an embarrassing state, but he did no such thing. Rather, he was hell-bent on explaining himself, which Hayden had no time for.

For the first few days, Hayden had successively ignored and dodged every attempt that Calvin made to speak with her. She had refused to stay in the cafeteria, avoided wherever he sat, and even went as far ahead as ignoring him in Creative Arts.

He had seen the most vulnerable part of her. He had seen her breakdown, and he had seen the pills she was ashamedly addicted to. He had seen it all, and she wondered if he would share his experience with his tight-knit group. She certainly didn't want their pity, nor did she want them to avoid her, even though she had been avoiding them. Wren, at the very least, viewed her with a minimal amount of respect and she preferred to keep it that way. She mustn't know.

Going to Cakes & Coffees had been one of Calvin's wonderful attempts to explain why her container of pills was in his hands. He had sent his 'new friend', Lyra, to call her several times, which she intently refused. She wouldn't go out to see him, and she would like to see who would force her to do such a thing.

And so, she went about with her Calvin-free routine. She was in the library sifting through books while waiting for Wren to show up. Hayden had eaten leftover pie from the shop that morning, and so wasn't technically hungry during lunch. She had an apple and a milkshake.

She and Wren would meet in the library, and Wren was usually the first to appear. Hayden would find her sitting in the farthest corner where the old forgotten books laid, reading. Mason was the captain of the basketball team and was meeting with them while Wren hanged out with her.

The first time Wren joined her in the library, she was surprised. Hayden thought she would be hanging out with Calvin, whom she had none for far longer than her. But nonetheless, Hayden still smiled at her and welcomed her, a small part of her wondering if she was supposed to be Amy's replacement.

She convinced herself she didn't care if Calvin was sitting alone or not. He was big enough to take care of himself.

It was rather strange to find her friend missing. She had gotten so used to them hanging out — with Wren doing most of the talking while she answered when it deemed appropriate.

Hayden grabbed a book from the shelves. Sense and Sensibility, it read. She had started reading the back when the bell rang. Finding it interesting, she grabbed it with her, confirmed with the grumpy librarian, and left with the book safely tucked in her bag.

Still worried about Wren, she looked for the beautiful oft-smiling short girl. Hayden's eyes darted in the hallways on her way to class. She wanted at least the assurance of Wren being safe. They didn't have any classes together that morning, so she didn't know if she had come to school or stayed at home.

Her worry, coupled with not taking her pills that morning, made her body shake slightly. Her heart was beating faster than normal, and her breath was threatening to seize. The hallways were getting over-filled with students, and they all seemed to be staring at her.

She could hear the familiar ringing sound in her ears, increasing with the noises of the students. She needed to take them. Another day, another pill. She couldn't avoid them; they had become her solace and her saviours.

She quickly found herself in the girls' restroom. It was empty, and her mind couldn't process being in a stall. She wasn't thinking of the risks when she pulled out the white container from her bag and took one. She gulped down some water before entering a stall to calm herself down.