You Saved Me ➵ Camren

14.

     "Well I actually bought that stuff a few days after I had to take you to get stitches. So it was supposed to be for you, just in case you needed it."

     "Aw Lolo. That was nice of you to do for me." Camila smiled up at her girlfriend and continued. "Let me know if you need me to stop, okay?" Lauren just nodded her head and stared at the wall. She seemed like she was spaced out and any other time, Camila would've asked if she was okay, but she knew this wasn't easy for her to deal with.

     She rinsed the rag off and started on the other wrist, which was considerably worse than the other one. The cuts were deeper and more jagged, and would probably hurt way more. This was confirmed when Lauren cried out and jerked her arm away, "Ow! Okay, I need a sec."

     "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you."

     Lauren shook her head and took a breath in, "No, it's not your fault. It's okay. Can we stop with the water though, it stings so bad."

     "Yeah, I'll stop. I still need to put the rest of this stuff on you, but it shouldn't hurt too bad." Camila grabbed the tube of Neosporin and squeezed some onto her finger to dab on each the cuts.

     Lauren stopped her and moved onto the floor in front of her so she could lean against the side of the tub. "Okay, that stuff actually makes it hurt a little less. Will those strip things stick to my skin if it has that stuff on it?"

     Camila started carefully wiping the surrounding skin with the rag, making sure it was dry enough. "Now they'll stick. This will probably hurt a little, but I'll try and be careful." Lauren nodded in response and Camila carefully placed a strip from one side of the cut to the other, pulling it closed and stopping the bleeding. It actually didn't hurt that bad. She watched as her girlfriend finished up the rest and taped a thin layer of gauze around her wrists to keep the steri-strips in place. "All done!"

     "Thank you." Lauren mumbled.

     "You're welcome." Camila threw away the tiny bits of trash and squatted back down near Lauren, whose eyes were glassy and voice had started to sound shaky. "You okay, babe?"

     Lauren nodded and wiped her eyes, "Sorry, can you give me a minute alone? I just need a minute. Please." She took in a shaky breath and buried her face in her shaking hands, signifying that she was probably having an anxiety attack. Camila noticed and squeezed her hand.

      "If you need me, I'll be on your bed finding a show to watch. I love you."

     "I love you too." Lauren waited for the bathroom door to close before bursting into tears again. She cried into her hands and silently gasped for air. She had messed up everything. She messed up her three years clean and there was no taking it back. She let out a deep breath and let sobs wrack her chest as she cried, not caring if her girlfriend could hear. She sucked in more air before crying out again. This was exactly what she was scared of happening. She was afraid she would relapse, but she didn't think she'd actually do it, let alone have to see the disappointment on her girlfriend's face.

     Camila had gotten a little worried when she heard the heartbreaking cries from the bathroom. She hadn't heard her girlfriend that upset ever. She resisted the urge to go in the bathroom because she understood that all Lauren needed was a little space and to be alone for a bit. While she waited for her to come out of the bathroom, she pulled up Lauren's favorite tv show, The Office, on Netflix. She started watching the episode and paused it when she heard the bathroom door open followed by little sniffles. She looked up and saw Lauren standing at the door. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy, nose was red, and her lips were swollen. She looked miserable and it was breaking Camila's heart.