13.

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*AN* this chapter has a good amount of smut, but also some angst too. the perfect combooo

*previously*
      "I love you, Lauren."

     "W-what?" Lauren looked at her, eyes wide and chest heaving.

"I said I love y-" Camila was cut off by her girlfriend's lips. She pulled away, seeing green eyes looking at her with a look she'd seen before, but never really had a word for. Now she knew. Love.

     "I love you too, Camila. That feels so good to say." Lauren's face broke out into the biggest grin.

"Well, now we can say it whenever we want." Camila wrapped her arms around her girlfriend and pulled her back in for a kiss. She deepened the kiss, already knowing where it was going. She trailed one hand up to her girlfriend's jaw to hold her head still, but she let out a small gasp when her hand was pulled down. She was about to question it until Lauren picked her up and carried her to the bedroom, throwing her down onto the bed. Any other time, this would be too aggressive, but both girls were clearly into it. The older girl pushed Camila back to the headboard and stepped back, "Take off your clothes babe." The smaller girl stripped her clothes off and slowly pulled her underwear off, keeping eye contact with her girlfriend as she spread her legs and ran a finger through her wetness. Lauren bit her lip and pulled off her shorts and tank top. Underneath her clothes was a very thin bralette made of black lace and a matching thong that barely covered her center. "Do you like it?" Camila nodded and watched as the older one sauntered over to her and straddled her lap. They started kissing heavily and Camila reached up to knead Lauren's breast, but was stopped when she felt a smack on her hand. "What the fuck, Lo?" Lauren put her finger over her lips and shushed her, "No touching." Camila squirmed underneath her and grabbed her hand, "I'm touching you. I can't not touch you if we're having sex."

     "I said no touching." Lauren pinned her arms above her head, "I'm in charge tonight, okay?" Camila let out a tiny moan and nodded her head, "Y-yeah." Lauren leaned down and started kissing and sucking on her neck, feeling her girlfriend start to move her arms a little. She moved her lips down her neck, trailing open mouthed kisses down her stomach and closer to her center. Camila pulled her arm from her grip and pushed the girl's head into her center. Lauren backed away, "You don't follow directions very well. Let's do something about that." Camila watched as she reached under the bed and pulled out two sets of handcuffs. This was secretly her biggest fantasy, so she didn't dare protest. She actually gave Lauren her wrists to secure to the headboard. "Oh so you like this hmm?" Camila looked away and nodded. "You like it when I take control? Is that what you like?" She nodded again raising her center to try and relieve the pressure between her legs. Lauren reached down and barely grazed her center and heard a moan. "Please touch me, Lauren."

     "Well, since you asked so nicely." Lauren slowly pushed a finger into her center and felt Camila's hips buck. She started pumping it in and out, watching her girlfriend try to get more friction on her hand. She felt another finger start to play with her clit and let out a loud moan, "Fuck, I need more." Lauren shook her head, "You didn't ask nicely." She stopped playing with her clit and slowed her movements. "Fuck me. Please!" Camila was begging for relief and let out a breath when her girlfriend nodded, put two fingers inside her and pulled them back out while their faces were mere centimeters apart, "You want me to fuck you until you can't move? Do you want to fuck my fingers until you see stars? Is that what you want?" She slammed her fingers back inside her, making Camila let out a yelp and throw her head back, "Yes! Oh my god. Again!" She felt fingers slam into her yet again and she screamed, "I need more. I don't care what you do, just make me fucking come!" Lauren took that as permission to enter a third finger into the girl's center and started sucking on her clit. Camila bucked her hips again and locked her legs around Lauren's head, keeping it close to her center as she climaxed. "I'm coming, don't stop!" Lauren continued pumping her fingers inside of her and sucking as the girl squirted her juices onto her mouth and fingers. Camila stopped shaking and started to pull away, "Fuck, that was so good Lo." She went to sit up on the bed, but Lauren pushed her back down onto the bed, "I'm not done with you just yet. I want to try something, but I don't know if you'll like it."
"Go for it. I meant it when I said I don't care what you do, as long as you make me feel good." Camila bent her knees and spread her shaking legs back out. Lauren attached her lips once again and flicked her tongue inside of the girl's center, thrusting it deeper each time. Camila was still sensitive, so she got worked back up in no time. She slowed her movements and trailed a finger back to the other hole. "Don't worry babe, you'll like this." She continued sucking the girl's clit and slowly started to tease the back hole with the tip of her finger. Camila decided she actually liked it so far and let out a moan, "Shit!" Lauren could tell Camila liked it from the way she was moving her hips and moaning, so she put two fingers inside her folds and pumped them as she inserted one into the puckered hole. Her girlfriend raised her hips upwards as she climaxed again and let out an even louder moan, "I'm fucking coming! Keep going!" Lauren started pumping all of her fingers inside of Camila's holes even faster as she felt her starting to tense up again. "Fuck Lauren! Fuck!" Camila felt her cheeks blush as she couldn't control anything anymore. Lauren brought her to the edge and stopped her actions to watch as her girlfriend came again without any help. Camila's hips raised off of the bed as she shook and moaned so hard that she pulled one hand free of the cuffs and started pleasuring herself. She pumped her fingers inside herself as white hot liquid rushed out of her onto the bed. She came with a moan and laid back down on the bed shaking uncontrollably and still moaning. Lauren was about to kiss her when she realized her girlfriend was about to come for a fourth time from not being touched at all. Camila tangled her hands in her hair, crossed her legs, and came one last time, "Oh my fucking god! Yes! Fuck!" She crashed back down on the bed and laid completely still for a few seconds. Lauren day undid the handcuffs and shook Camila gently. "Babe, are you okay?" Her eyes flickered open and she let out a laugh as she tried to catch her breath, "Lo, I think you broke me." Lauren bit her lip and husked, "That was so hot to watch. We have to do that again." Camila nodded and leaned her head on Lauren's shoulder, "I'm pretty sure I blacked out there at the end. I couldn't control anything." Lauren laughed to herself and flopped back on the bed. Camila laid back with her, "What are you laughing about? I thought you liked watching me." The older girl nodded, "Oh I did, trust me. I just can't believe you came four fucking times. Aren't you tired?" Camila nodded and sat back up, "I'm exhausted, but I really need a shower now." Lauren stood up and pulled her girlfriend up with her. The girl's legs buckled under her and she grabbed onto Lauren's arm to support herself. "How am I supposed to shower if I can barely stand up?" Camila laughed to herself and shakily walked to the bathroom to turn on the shower. "Lauren, come shower with me." Camila spoke from the bathroom. "Don't mind if I do." Lauren walked quickly to the bathroom and stripped off her bra and panties before getting into the shower. Camila was standing behind the older girl, so she decided to have a little bit more fun. She put some body wash in her hands, pressed her body against the back of Lauren and reached up to knead the girl's breasts. Lauren turned to face her as she trailed her hands down to rest on Camila's butt. "I kinda like this side of you, not gonna lie babe." Camila smiles as Lauren reached over for the body wash and put some in her hands. She looked at Camila with a smirk as she let her hands wander all over her body, making sure to let them linger a little longer on her butt. The groping got a little more heated than Lauren had planned and she wanted to keep going but got stopped, "Okay Lolo, you're getting me all turned on and flustered. As much as I would love to continue, I can't go again. I'm kind of exhausted." Camila turned off the water and wrapped herself in a towel before giving one to the other girl. Lauren wrapped the towel around her body and leaned forward to kiss her on the forehead, "Do you want to take a nap? Watch a movie?" Camila wrapped her arms around Lauren's waist and hugged her, "Can we just cuddle outside on the balcony?"
"Sure baby." After they put on their pajamas, Lauren laced their fingers together and led them through the house and out to the balcony. She laid on the sofa and pulled Camila down to lay on top of her. Camila wrapped her in a hug, nuzzled her head into the crook of Lauren's neck and let out a heavy sigh as she squeezed her tighter. Lauren gently rubbed circles into her back as they laid in silence, listening to the cars go by.
     Camila raised herself back up when she felt Lauren taking a couple of deep breaths and saw that her eyes were glassy and filled with tears. "What's wrong, Lo?"
     Lauren took a deep breath again and wiped her eyes, "I don't know, I just feel like crying for no reason. It's so stupid." Camila shook her head and rubbed up and down the girl's arms.
     "No, I don't think it's stupid. People cry sometimes, it's normal. Plus, I don't think I've ever actually seen you really cry before." Lauren stared at the ground, trying to keep her composure. She didn't want to cry, especially not after everything that her girlfriend had been through. But it had been so long since she actually let herself feel sad and it was bound to come out.
Camila looked up into her eyes, "You don't have to be the strong one all of the time, Lauren. You're allowed to be sad. You've been through some shit too." Lauren just nodded as a tear started to slip out, but she quickly wiped it away in hopes that Camila didn't see. "Come here, Lolo." Camila pulled Lauren into a tight hug and stroked her hair. She felt her something wet on her shoulder and squeezed Lauren even harder.
"It's okay baby." Lauren started crying harder, letting out little whimpers. Camila just let her cry, even if she hated to hear it. She moved the two of them so that Lauren was now laying on top with her face hidden in Camila's neck. She stopped crying for a second, wiped her eyes, took in a shaky breath and started crying a little quieter. Camila couldn't help but feel bad for her. "Let it all out, okay? This is good for you. You can't let it build up inside you for so long, it's too much." Lauren nodded as she calmed down a little and sat up, taking some deep breaths to try and relax. "Sorry." Lauren let out a nervous laugh.
"You don't need to say sorry. Are you okay?" Lauren nodded, "I'm okay. I just always get a headache after I cry." Camila got up and helped Lauren up with her, "Do you need me to find you some medicine?" She shook her head, "No that's okay, Camz. Thank you. I actually think I'll feel better if I just try to go to bed. Wanna sleep here with me?"
Camila nodded and walked to the bedroom with her.
"Lauren, where do you keep extra sheets and stuff?" Camila pulled off the ruined sheets from earlier and tossed them in the laundry hamper in the corner of the room. "Here's some sheets and a blanket. I already had them out just in case." Lauren walked over and helped Camila make the bed and they both plopped down on the mattress before cuddling up next to each other. Camila fell asleep pretty much instantly, but it wasn't so easy for Lauren. She had depression and anxiety, and they just so happened to bring insomnia into the mix as well. Most of the time she could fall asleep fine, but sometimes, she'd be up all night. Tonight was one of those nights. Luckily, she had been prescribed a sleeping medication when she got her usual antidepressants, so she occasionally used it if she needed to. It made her feel foggy in the morning, so she tried to avoid it.
     She stared at the ceiling, listening to Camila's soft snores for god knows how long before checking the clock. 4:00am. She decided she needed to take something if she wanted to get some sleep, so she quietly got out of bed and walked to her bathroom to find the bottle of pills. When she found the right one, she poured one into her hand and swallowed it. Any other normal person wouldn't have been able to take a pill with no water, but she was used to it from taking her antidepressants every morning. She turned the bathroom light off and started walking to the bed when she heard Camila wake up and turn on the lamp.
     "You okay, Lauren?" Lauren sat on the edge of the bed and felt her girlfriend massaging the back of her neck.
"I can't fall asleep, I've just been staring at the ceiling for like 6 hours straight." Camila scooted beside her, "Aw babe. Why? Is your head hurting too bad?"
     Lauren shook her head and laughed to herself, "I wish that was all it was. I don't think I told you, but in addition to my lovely duo of depression and anxiety, I also happen to have insomnia from my antidepressants. So...yeah." The younger girl wrapped her arm around her and started playing with her hair. "I didn't know you took antidepressants." Lauren nodded, "That's why it's so hard for me to cry or feel anything. They make me into a fucking zombie, but taking them saved my life. I'll probably be on them forever."
"So what did you just take?" Lauren got up and grabbed the pill bottle, "Medicine for insomnia. It's really strong, so I don't take it every night, just occasionally, when I have trouble sleeping." She yawned loudly and Camila patted the bed beside her, "Come lay down, sleepy head." Lauren cuddled up behind her and wrapped her arms around Camila, interlocking their fingers. "Camzi?" Lauren sleepily asked.
     "Hmm?"
"I love you." Lauren moved closer and kissed her on the neck softly. "I love you too, Lolo. So much." Camila wrapped her arms tightly around Lauren as they both drifted off to sleep together.
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