IF ONLY.....

CHAPTER 43

Dineo: where were you?
She said as soon as Kgosi walked in the lounge and he frowned.
Kgosi: askies?
Dineo: you heard me Kgosi where were you?....why are you coming back this late
Kgosi: what are you, my wife?
He asked with an annoyed voice and Dineo raised her eyebrow then she chuckled getting up.
Dineo: ok
She then walked away and Kgosi sighed.
Kgosi: wait...look im sorry Mmabontle
Dineo: piss off Kgosi nxa
She went up the stairs and went to her bedroom and locked the door.
Kgosi: damn it Mfumu....what the fuck is wrong with you nx!!!
He sighed and sat down then he brushed his head...he knows how Dineo can be and the fact that he spoke to her like that will mean the next couple of days will be hell for him.
Mfumu: “just sex her and she will forgive you”
Kgosi: shut up....shut the fuck up or I’ll drink the stronger pills and you’ll be locked in there with no way out...Mmabontle is off limit damn it!!!
He said with an angry voice.
Mfumu: fine im shut
He chuckled with a creepy tone then..... silence.
Kgosi: nx
He got up and went upstairs, he got to her bedroom and tried to open the door and it was locked....he sighed and went to his bedroom where he went to take a shower....For the last couple of weeks he studied Dineo and now he can say he knows her a bit better....after the shower he wore his pajamas and walked out of his bedroom with his phone on his hand..... He went to check if the doors are closed and switched off the lights and he went back upstairs.....

Dineo woke up in the middle of the night with the need to pee and he felt a strong arm wrapped around her body, she sighed when she smelled his accent and before she could even see him....she tried to move his arm off her but he tightened the grip.
Dineo: I want to pee man Kgosi
Kgosi: be quick
He pulled his arm off her and she got off the bed and quickly went to the bathroom....she wasn’t even shocked as to how he managed to get inside her bedroom even though she locked the door cause this isn’t the first time he does this....Anyway she wiped herself and flushed then she pulled her pajama bottom up and she washed her hands and wiped it and she went back to the bedroom and got back into the covers.....he then grabbed her and pulled her closer and kissed her neck.
Kgosi: im sorry....please don’t give me the silent treatment that shit is hell on earth for me mama
She didn’t say anything she just closed her eyes.
Kgosi: I had a really bad day that’s why I lashed out like that....im sorry mama never again
She kept her silence.
Dineo: I can’t deal with your change of moods Kgosi....im the one who’s pregnant here and not you
She said after some time and he sighed.
Kgosi: I’ll keep myself in check I promise
She didn’t say anything else and soon he heard her snoring lightly and he kissed the back of her head and rubbed her belly.

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THE FOLLOWING MORNING.....

Kgosi woke up when he felt Dineo’s hand inside his pajama pants, she was holding his erected huge dick rubbing the tip with her thumb slowly with her head resting on his chest...his breathing changed and he kissed her forehead.....he was used to waking up to her putting her hand on top of his pants where his dick will be laying but now she moved to another level cause her hand is inside and she’s rubbing it so smoothly.
Kgosi: mama?
He said with his deep voice and she didn’t say anything.
Kgosi: Mmabontle?
Dineo: mmh
Kgosi: you’re killing me
He said in a whisper and she moved her index finger from the tip going down to his balls and he flinched tightening his grip around her...she massaged his balls and his body tightened.
Kgosi: fuck....
He whispered and he moved trying to get on top of her but she pulled her hand out and she pushed him back then she got out of bed.
Kgosi: where are you going?
Dineo: im hungry so im going to make myself something to eat
He frowned.
Kgosi: so you’re going to leave me like this
Dineo: am I your wife Kgosi?
He huffed resting his head back on the pillow and he grabbed his hard dick...it was painful as hell.
Kgosi: don’t do this Mmabontle im begging you
She went to the bathroom.
Kgosi: Mmabontle!!
He called after her and she ignored him.
Kgosi: damn it...fuck you Mfumu nx

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Matlhabe: good morning aus’Dee
Dineo: hey love o monate? ( are you good)
She nodded smiling a bit then she became serious turning to Kgosi.
Matlhabe: my prince
She said bowing a bit towards Kgosi.
Kgosi: Matlhabe
He said with a straight face on.
Matlhabe: i...i didn’t know I needed to wake up early...im sorry
Dineo: sa wara man ( don’t worry)...i was hungry so I woke up early
She breathed out.
Matlhabe: ok I’ll go clean up then
Kgosi: make me another cup of coffee!
He said pushing his empty cup towards Matlhabe as he focused on his laptop and she bowed and took the cup to the kitchen.
Kgosi: how long will this punishment go on like
He said looking at her with an intense look on his face.
Dineo: what punishment
He just gave her “the look” and she rolled her eyes.
Dineo: im not punishing you Kgosi I just realized that you’re Richie’s elder brother and its inappropriate for us to reach that level
Kgosi: so us kissing and me finger fucking you isn’t inappropriate?
Dineo: hebanna why do you sound angry
Kgosi: don’t fuck with me Dineo im not in a fucken mood
She raised an eyebrow looking at him....she has never head him using swear words like this before towards her.....he even looked angry...she got up.
Dineo: sorry for speaking out of turn neh but my prince remember that I also know how to swear and Im good  at it
Then she walked away pissing him off some more when she called him “my prince”.
Kgosi: nx
Matlhabe brought his coffee and she quickly walked away to avoid his wrath because of the look on his face.

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Senior: how are you feeling today ndodana
He sighed.
Cole: how is she?
He ignored his father’s question.
Senior: her doctor said she’s opening up now
Cole nodded and continued to look outside.
Cole: do you think she’ll forgive me?
Senior sighed.
Senior: she has to
Cole: I broke her baba
Senior: you’re also broken
Cole swallowed hard as his eyes filled with tears.
Cole: she was raped and almost burned alive by Mazwi and now I beat her up and kill.....killed our baby
Senior: don’t do this to yourself Qophelo...don’t
Cole: I don’t deserve her
Senior: yes you do...you two deserve each other....you’re a good man son and all this shit that happened is not your fault and don’t worry I’ll deal with the culprit  myself
Cole sniffed and he wiped his tears off.
Cole: you think I was bewitched?
Senior: I know it...i can feel it in my bones....you chose her over your own blood, you helped her get over the trauma she went through and you wifed her and planted your seed in her....i know how much you want to be father...how much you couldn’t wait to hold your son in your arms  so for you to do this to her means something is not right
Cole clenched his jaws getting emotional.
Senior: so there’s no way you would do what you did consciously and in your right state of mind....there’s foul play here and I’ll get to the bottom of it...wena concentrate on getting better so you can go fix things with your wife
Cole didn’t say anything else he just continued to look outside broken inside....all he thought about is Marang and how she’s doing now...how broken she is and if she’ll ever forgive him.
Senior: take
He handed him a usb stick.
Senior: watch what is inside...maybe it will motivate you to toughen up and fight for your marriage and also seek help yourself
Then he walked away.

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King: WHY ARE YOU CRYING YOU EVIL WOMAN....SHE’S DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU...YOU HAD HER KILLED....YOU LURED HER INTO YOUR SCHEMES AND TURNED HER INTO A MANIPULATIVE, CONNIVING AND LYING WOMAN SHE WAS  NOW WHY ARE YOU CRYING!!!
He shouted at Queen Bahumi who was crying....after what happened to Mmabatho she went back to the kingdom and the King ( her husband) kicked her out like a dog, he had already found out about what happened to Mmabatho so when Bahumi rocked up at the Kingdom the king lost it....he dragged her out like she’s a nobody....but Bahumi kept going back but luckily this time around the elders managed to convince the king to allow her in cause people started talking about why the first Queen is been treated like this and making their own assumptions as to what the reason might be.
Bahumi: im so...sorry my husband...i messed up....i....
King: YOU’RE SORRY....O RE YOU’RE SORRY AND YOU MESSED UP....MY DAUGHTER IS DEAD BAHUMI...DEAD AND SHE’S NEVER COMING BACK AND IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!
She cried louder and the elders just shook their heads looking down while her son just clenched his jaws looking at his mother with hate plastered on his face.
King: SHUT UP...SHUT UP!!!
She muffed her cried.
Elder1: calm down Kgabo....calm down...you know when you’re this angry the ancestors also get angry
King: they should also get angry....in fact they should strike her dead....she’s the one that deserves to die and not my daughter
He was even sweating.....Bahumi was sitting on the cold floor crying.
King: I called her....i called and told her she should come back with Mmabatho so they can answer to the family about their conniving deeds and she said to me to go to hell...selo se se mpoleletse gore ke ye diheleng ( this thing told me to go to hell) then she killed my daughter
He picked his cane and rushed to Bahumi and raised it to hit her and she hid her face but he stopped midway while biting his lower lip hard.
King: ke tla go bolaya Bahumi wankutlwa....ke tla go bolaya!! ( I’ll kill you Bahumi you hear me....I’ll kill you!!)
Bahumi: intshwarele monna wa me....ke kopa maitshwarelo ( forgive me my husband....please forgive me)
She said crying and he clicked his tongue.
Elder2: matshwafo fatshe Kgabo....matshwafo fatshe ( calm down Kgabo...calm down)
He pleaded with him.
King: guards!!!......get her out of my sight before I kill her with my bare hands....make sure she sit in the middle of the yard on the ground until I say otherwise...no one should give her food or water let the sun drain out the evil that fills her heart nx
The guards grabbed her and pulled her up with her crying asking for forgiveness...she looked at her son hoping he’ll have mercy on her but he just looked away and they walked with her outside and the King sat down defeated.
King: if only she answered my calls....im sure Bahumi told her not to.....i should’ve send the guards to drag them back here...i should’ve handled all this like a father and not an angry king and my daughter would still be alive
Elder3: don’t blame yourself my King....you didn’t tell them to do all the things they did
King: the burned flesh I kept smelling everywhere was a sign....i should’ve known
Elder1: we were still dealing with the seer Kgabo.... we were all angry and humiliated by what they did.....right now we are a laughing stock to other kingdoms.... which kingdom will want to marry any of our daughters after what Mmabatho and Bahumi did....they will think there are no virgins in our kingdom and that we take them to doctors to reinstate their virginity to fool potential suitors
Elder4: a suitor in the Bahurutse kingdom in Zeerust postponed magadi for Bopaki Mogabe’s second daughter....already our kingdom is suffering because of what the seer, the Queen and the princess did and we need to find a solution fast!!
The King sighed shaking his head while looking down.

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Psychiatrist: lets pick up from where we left of from our last session.....did you think about my question
Marang cleared her throat and she nodded.
Psychiatrist: good now give me an answer.... do you think your husband’s friend or brother was right when he said your husband was not in his right state of mind when he did what he did to you....that something is wrong with him
She kept quiet for some time.
Psychiatrist: its ok take your time
After some time she spoke.
Marang: I think....
She sighed playing with her fingers.
Marang: he wasn’t himself
The psychiatrist wrote something down.
Psychiatrist: what makes you say that?
Marang: he....
She sighed.
Marang: he woke up one night from a nightmare....he....he was sweating really bad and...and when he saw me his face changed....he....he didn’t look at me in a loving way...i ....i tried to touch him and he pushed my hand away roughly then he got out of bed and since then he...he changed....he became an angry person
Psychiatrist: before you both went to sleep how was he?
Marang: a loving and caring husband....he even massaged my feet....we...we even made...love and he held me throughout the night until he woke up from what I thought was a nightmare
The Psychiatrist wrote down something then she fixed her glasses looking at Marang.
Psychiatrist: what do you think happened to make him change like that?
She shrugs.
Psychiatrist: ok...let’s talk about your ex, the one that raped and nearly killed you....did what your husband did to you trigger the trauma you went through with your ex
She nodded slowly and she started crying then Cole closed his laptop as his own tears ran down his cheeks.
Voice: continue watching Qophelo
It was his father...he didn’t even know he was standing behind him.
Cole: I can’t
He said with tears running down his face.
Cole: I broke her baba
Senior: I said continue watching!
He said sternly and Cole wiped his tears off and he opened the laptop cause he knows how serious Senior is when he uses that tone...he forwarded to where he stopped then let it play.
Psychiatrist: if I were to say your husband and your ex are what society calls ‘birds of the same furthers’ would you agree
She shook her head no slowly and the psychiatrist wrote something down.
Psychiatrist: why do you disagree?
She kept quiet a bit.
Marang: cause he has showed me multiple times that he loves me.....he...he has been there for me even when I broke up with him back then....he....he chose me over his own blood and stood by his decision....i saw a nobody, a broken girl when I looked in the mirror but he saw someone to love and protect and he also saw a wife and a mother to....his.....chil.....
Then she cried.
Marang: so I don’t....i don’t know why he did what he did....he even named him and he...couldn’t wait to see and hold him.... he....he hit me....he hit me...i begged him to stop and I apologized but he didn’t stop
She cried painfully.
Marang: I don’t know why....i....i
She continued to cry.
Psychiatrist: but you do know abusers most of the time they don’t have a valid and solid reason as to why they are being abusive and sometimes they even just take out their frustrations out on their partners cause they can’t deal with what’s eating them up....others enjoy abusing their victims while others aren’t strong enough to face their demons so they use their partners and children as punching bags....so I don’t want you to blame yourself for his doings....it’s not your fault you hear me I don’t want you blaming yourself....he’s the one that failed to deal with what’s eating him up and not you
She just continued to cry and the video stopped playing.
Cole: uyanya lodokotela womlungu (fuck this white doctor)...msoon wakhe ( her cunt)....uyanya ....im not an abuser antlek golo lakhe man ( her cunt man)....msoono ka nyoko nxa
He said tossing the laptop next to him on the bed and he got out of the bed feeling worked up.
Cole: she’s trying to make her leave me that’s what she’s trying to do...uyangijwaela lo doti ( she doesn’t know me this rubbish)
Senior: why are you getting worked up
Cole: she’s trying to make Marang leave me!!
Senior: maybe she should
Cole stopped pacing and he looked at his father with a deadly frown on his face.
Cole: angizwanga? ( repeat what you just said)
Senior: I mean you’re out here throwing yourself a pity party moping around like a bitch instead of finding out what the fuck made you act like that....nywe nywe nywe I broke her.....yes you did now fucken fix her like you did when Mazwi broke her....uyakwazi ukulungisa inkinga na masimba ayenzwe ngaamanye amadoda but yohluleka ukulungiza akho amasimba....unjani Qophelo heh( you know how to fix shit done by other men but you fail to fix your own shit....why are you like this Qophelo).....since when have you become this weak....
Cole swallowed looking down.
Senior: when was the last time you went to uDladla kuyovuselela ( to Dladla so he can strengthen you again)
Cole didn’t answer him.
Senior: you fucken know your lifestyle Qophelo and you decide ukuphila nje ( to live just) like a fucken normal person....even normal people these days take precautions ngemphilo zabo and wena uyahlala nje ( with their lives and you just live just like that)....is that what I taught you
Cole: qha (no)
Senior: KHULUMA MAN!!!
Cole: qh...qha
Senior: qha ya masimba
Cole kept quiet.
Senior: I should be in Mozambique fucking my wife in peace but no im here fixing all your messes...shit you can do yourselves if you stopped acting like pussies!!!
He continued to shout at Cole.
Senior: you are acting like a coconut cheese boy, now wannabe witches are using you as a test ground
Cole clenched his jaws.
Cole: im not a cheese boy mina baba
Senior: well you smell like one...nxa
He walked to the door.
Senior: wena no Zakhele nifuna induku nje ( you want a beating).....now pick yourself up and go fix your marriage before you piss me off
He walked out and Cole sighed.
Cole: im no cheese boy mina
He said to himself sulking then he smelled himself.
Cole: I smell like a fucken real man futhi nxa