AMANTI, nico di angelo

XXI. i always have and i always will

0021. | I ALWAYS HAVE
AND I ALWAYS WILL

Gods were difficult. Vela knew that first hand, but what he never expected was to be one himself. Of course he knew of his godly blood, but he meant that he had never suspected himself to be difficult. He had never expected this haste to emotion to be anything other than tears and love and humour. He never suspected he might be arrogant, or narcissistic, or angry as he was then.

But he couldn't help it. Too many people were threatening his life and the lives of those he loved. He had been sent to his destruction by Zeus and Hera, taunted by Calypso, and been forced to hide the love of his life in the land of the dead just to keep him safe.

Vela was sick of pandering to higher beings. He was sick of being humble and kind, it had never worked for anyone else, so why should it work for him? He had to be wise like Odysseus—brave like Patroclus—strong like Achilles—great like Daedalus. He had to be everything that he wasn't, but what he wanted to be. Vela wanted to be like the heroes for whom songs were sang.

So even then, with the entire city of Manhattan forced asleep by Morpheus's magic, and Hecate's assault of blue sparks attacked Olympus, Vela waited out the storm. The invasion may have started, but Vela didn't want there to be any confusion. Kronos may have been the predator stalking his territory, but he had no clue of the viper hidden beneath the rocks. He had no idea that Vela lived.

And there was nothing more terrifying than a self-sacrificial god who couldn't die.

"Vela."

He heard Lea's call and turned to hear her. No one had dared to follow him after he disrespected Hermes, and now he was stood alone on the plain of Olympus by the sea where he had received his mother's blessing. He didn't know why he went there, maybe he thought she might bless him again, tell him that he would be victorious, that nothing could ever stand in his way. The sort of things a child would want to hear. He heard nothing.

"What's wrong?" She didn't hug him like Silena would, or touch his arm like Annabeth might. She just stood at his side, shoulder to shoulder, with a mindful stare that told him not to lie.

           He wavered. He honestly wasn't sure himself, so what could he tell her? "I'm not ready." He admitted.

Lea was silent for a long time which irked Vela more than it should have. She was never normally quiet. Then she spoke, and Vela wished she hadn't. "Me neither."

"Seriously?" He blanched. "I was gonna be brave for you and the pack, but if you're freaking out too—!"

Lea turned to him. "I'm totally freaking out!" She stressed. "I've never been to war before. This is new level shit, Vela. The worst I've fought is Adrian when he used to hurt the kids, I don't know what we're gonna do against a whole army of them and Zuri— I don't know what we're going to do about him—,"