The Passion Parameter - Vol. II

【17】No Going Back

Being around him was still somehow delicate and uneasy. All the hurt I'd been through was still fresh, engraved in my memory. I wanted to get over it, I really did, but I knew we would need more time to get over the tension that lingered between us. Our eyes met, and he rolled slightly to the side so he could see me better.

Putting my worries away, trying my best to look natural, I waved the papers I held in my hands, a smile plastered on my face. "It's done. I'm officially not leaving," I told him, hating how tense I sounded.

It was strange to think I was overall fine with having his hand up my skirt, but an interaction as simple as this one felt complicated and awkward. There were no manuals for this kind of situation, no rules on how to get over what we had been through, and I couldn't help but wonder how we would manage to get past it in the end. Nor could I guess how long it would take us.

Lex smiled, seeming about as uncomfortable as I was, and I couldn't help but be reassured by the fact that it was weird for him too. We would go past this strange phase and get back to our natural easiness, eventually.

"Thank you for handling it with Karen," I told him as I came closer. "It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I'm not certain how you explained it to her, but she seems comprehensive and wasn't blaming me for any sneaky maneuvers."

"As I explained to you already, we have a few employees who do this every year. And to be perfectly honest, regardless of how things are going between us, we probably would have given you a raise if you'd actually gone for it. You are a great asset to the team and us reevaluating your salary to keep you around is very plausible."

"Thank you... I guess..." I let out, not sure if this was making me feel better or not. I didn't want the conversation to die already, so I glimpsed at his screens, wondering what he was up to. "What were you doing?"

"I'm sorting a few things out before the trip."

"Oh, right..."

Apparently, the partnership Kelex had been negotiating with a Korean tech giant had come through, and Kevin and Lex were both invited to visit them in Seoul, for a tour of the HQ and one of their factories, as some sort of courtesy visit. I wasn't certain when they would be leaving, but it was within the next two weeks, if I remembered correctly. It was a big deal, and we had some work to do before they left, to make sure they had enough content to show them.

"When are you guys leaving?" I asked, curious. It would be the first time both bosses would be away from the company, and everyone was a little stressed about it. The bosses in particular.

"In exactly a week. I haven't taken a day off in three years. It feels strange to be leaving for almost an entire week."

"You'll still be working, though."

"It's not the same. I'm worried about leaving everything here. What if things go south?"

"You know... we're not totally incompetent," I pointed out, pretending to be offended. "We can be left alone and not set the place on fire."

"You're right. I'm just not... used to being away."

"Don't worry, we'll make sure your precious company doesn't sink without its captains," I reassured him.

He nodded, pensive, and an uncomfortable silence settled between us. I tried to think of something else to say, but nothing came to mind. Why did it have to be so hard? Why couldn't things just go back to the way they were before all of this happened? This wasn't it. I wanted the easy and witty conversations we used to have. I wanted the nerdy banters we so easily had before. The ones we could pull off in texts, but apparently not in real life.