Trapped in My Mind (Mind Experiment AU)

The Truth...and Afterthoughts

Janus's POV

I sighed as I flopped onto my old bed, smiling slightly when I turned to see my stuffed snake curled up in its usual spot. I picked it up and wrapped it around my arms like I did when we were little. 

"Hi buddy" I cooed softly. "You think you can still help me with my mental struggles?" I made my snake nod. "Good. Because I don't know what to do anymore. I think Patton will never understand how important mental health is to Thomas's well being. He will always think Remus and I are evil, and I don't think I can change that. However; I can't give up on Thomas, I mean without me he would be an absolute stressed out, emotionally destructive mess." What should I do?" 

"Well," I said as I did the voice for the snake. "You could try and show up more subtly, advising some of the other sides, or having Logan advise them, of different ways for Thomas to sneak mental health breaks." 

"That's true I could....but wouldn't Patton catch on to that?" 

"Then maybe you have to get Thomas to listen to and accept you, he holds power over all of them."

"Do you really think I could do that?"

"I mean if you're true and honest I don't see why not." I sighed as I held my stuffed snake close to my chest. I knew it was possible, but it was also very risky. One wrong move and everyone would assume I was up to some evil plot and I couldn't let that happen. I sighed as I closed my eyes, petting the stuffed snakes head.

"I'll sleep on it and see what I come up with tomorrow" I said as I sighed and rolled on my side, keeping the toy around my arms. It was still as comforting as it was when we were all younger. I hummed as I slowly started to drift off to sleep, not aware of the figure outside my door. 

Virgil's POV

I was curled up on my bed with Roman when we heard Logan's door close, causing me to sit up in surprise. 

"What is it?" Roman asked softly as he pet my head, and I turned looking up at him with bright eyes. 

"Logan went in his room....but he's been spending all of his nights in Patton's since they started dating." I said as I carefully climbed out of bed. I sighed as I threw on sweats and I brushed my hair out of my face, "I'll be right back okay? I'm just gonna go check on him." Roman nodded as he watched me with soft eyes.

"Just be careful okay? I don't want anything happening to you"

"I'll be alright Princey" I said as I smiled at his concern. "I'm just going a hall over." Then I walked out of my room and headed down to Logans hall. I slowly ran my hand over the frames of the portraits in the walls, glancing at the equations and random facts Thomas had learned until I reached his door. I sighed and knocked softly. "Hey Logan, can I come in?" There was a soft sigh, and the sound of someone walking across the floor before the door slowly opened, to reveal a very stressed and exhausted looking Logan. "What happened?"

"Come in, and we can talk" He said as he sighed and stepped out of the doorway, so I followed him inside and silently closed the door behind me. Logan walked over to his bed and sat down, holding his head in his hands. 

"Did something bad happen? You never express this much emotion" I said as I walked over and sat next to him.

"It's Patton....he's not exactly who I thought he was." 

"What do you mean...?"

"Have you ever heard of the split?"

"The death of Romulus? Yeah Remus used to tell it to me a lot when I couldn't sleep. It helped calm me to know I wasn't the only one falling apart." Logan sighed as he nodded. 

"Well then you might actually know the real story...the Light Sides got an edited version, for those who even remembered." 

"Remus told me Patton wouldn't let Romulus get help from the therapist, that it wasn't safe. That splitting was the only way to.....protect Thomas...."

"That doesn't sound very Patton does it?"

"No...it doesn't...which means it's true" I said as I looked down. "Patton made a decision that would negatively affect Thomas's mental health because he was afraid of what might happen if we stuck around. But he accepted me when I came in."

"He didn't recognize you... when you were born you were a literal broken voodoo doll that Roman put back together and carried to the Dark Side like Patton asked. He doesn't know Remy jumps either, that's one thing that stays consistent, he really isn't the brightest character." 

"Okay so he's kinda dark, everyone is... I don't understand why this is stressing you out so much though." 

"It's not the fact that he made such a horrible decision that's upset me. It's why he made that decision. I asked him why he did it, why he wouldn't let them see Picani, and you know what he told me? That he didn't think Thomas could make the right decision, that Deceit and Remus would manipulate him through all of these horrible things, and only Patton would be able to see the truth." I looked at him with soft sad eyes as I rested my hand on his shoulder.

"He didn't trust you to see through any web of lies they might have created. he didn't think you'd be able to talk Thomas out of a bad decision..."

"He didn't trust me. Not even slightly. And yet he claims to love me with all of his heart, that I'm some perfect boyfriend. But if I'm not mistaken you need trust for things to be perfect, and he finds no trust in me." Logan huffed as he ran his fingers through his hair. "And to make things worse...though Patton wasn't there....Remus made an assumption that was partly wrong."

"What....do you mean?"  I asked confused, and he looked a little embarrassed. 

"Remus had gotten angry with me earlier about how we have been treating him in the past, so I pointed out why and he told me, and I quote "Oh of course you defend him. You would just love if he was kinder so he was accepted by Thomas and the others."" 

"You said his statement was partly true....what part wasn't true?" I asked, knowing the jab was suggest feelings he would have for Deceit.

"It's true I would like both of them to be accepted again and be able to function and help Thomas as a whole but....Dee isn't the one I've been most focused on." My eyes widened a little as I looked at him with surprise. 

"Are you telling me...?"

"Yes Virgil...as of recent I have started to....feel things for....Remus"