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Anthony sat quietly on the bed, hurt is the only thing on his mind. It's not that he couldn't understand what was going on and the reasons behind it, it was more or less that he didn't want to understand because that would just make it all the more difficult. He watched with a tearful gaze as Jaden packed objects neatly into boxes, each labeled with different things, like the word "books" or "clothes" and such. Once a box was filled, he'd tape it shut and pick it up, carrying it out to the hallway and carelessly plopping it down in a contrarily messy pile filled with items of the sort.
He walked back into the room, still frowning at the sight of his boyfriend pouting on the bed, knees tucked under his chin as he hid his head. Jaden knew the moment Anthony looked up he would see tears in his eyes, and he wasn't sure if he could handle seeing his baby hurting that bad. Jaden was the one hurting him, and the fact that his boyfriend was so undeniably sad and it was all his fault. The only thing that would make that pain and sorrow disappear was the one thing he couldn't do, stay.
The word hurt to hear, every time someone said it, or worse, anytime Anthony said it he felt a wave of nausea and heartbreak wash over him. The way Anthony was screaming it last night through tears and sobs, begging him not to leave, pleading with him to not move out, because once he moved out everything would be different. And the way the shouts and cries fell to quiet whines as his voice grew tired of yelling the same word over and over again.
"Anthony-" Jaden tried to reason after packing away the rest of his belongings, moving to sit on the bed with his boyfriend that had now been stripped of its sheets and pillows.
"Just stay," he whimpered in defeat, moving his head from where it rested between his knees to look up at his boyfriend, who held a look of shame on his face.
"I can't, it's better for my music career if I move out and leave sway-" he began, once again being cut off by Anthony speaking, he couldn't help but flinch at the way the upset boy's voice cracked as he tried to convince him to not move out.
"But what about what's better for us, what about what's better for me!" Anthony sobbed, looking towards Jaden, saying things with his body language and visible upset that he couldn't convey through words.
"Nothing will change, I promise. What do you think will be different? Before you moved to LA we were in a long-distance relationship. We did it before, why can't we do it again? And I'll only be an hour away this time," he bargained. But he couldn't even convince himself that his words were true. At this point the two of them had grown used to waking up next to each other, to constantly cuddling and hanging out whenever they wanted. It was different now because they had grow used to the idea of being right by each other.
"You're kidding right!? Everything will change! Y-You'll find someone who's closer to you, some girls who's prettier, an- and smarter and just better than me!" Anthony sobbed he'd been holding in a downpour of tears for the past ten minutes, biting his lip till it bled in an attempt to silence the hurt he'd been feeling. He knew that it was inevitable, Jaden had already bought the house, he had hired the movers, and the boxes were already packed.
"Hey, I won't ever abandon you and leave you for some girl, I love you too much to hurt you like that," Jaden promised, pulling Anthony close to his chest hoping to soothe the pain he was causing his boyfriend.
"But you already are hurting me," he muttered quietly, not really wanting Jaden to hear, but he knew he needed to get it off of his chest otherwise it would wilt him internally.
"I don't want to hurt you," Jaden gasped, he could barely handle the thought of breaking him down and having to build Anthony back up again.
"Then don't leave! Just stay! Just fucking stay!" Anthony sobbed, pushing himself away from Jaden, wanting to be alone, he knew if he clung to him for the last few hours until he moved it would make it so much harder. Anthony couldn't help but feel dramatic, he was only moving an hour away and they would probably see each other every weekend. But he'd been in long-distance relationships before that weren't with Jaden, and from that experience, he knew it was only a matter of time until the visits got last frequent and they'd be lucky to facetime once a week.
A loud ring of the doorbell interrupted the growingly awkward and sad conversation, and Jaden knew exactly who was at the door and he felt his stomach drop. The movers were here and he needed to load his things into the car, meaning he would have to leave soon after so he could be there when the movers arrived. They were early, he thought that it would give him and Anthony a few hours alone before he had to leave, but he was wrong.
"Go, just go move your shit," Anthony muttered, standing up and walking out of the room, heading towards his bed. He tried to keep up this angry persona, wanting to guilt Jaden into staying, but he knew the moment he locked his door behind him, he would start sobbing and absolutely break down.
"Alright," he replied softly, walking to the boxes, picking one up and beginning to take it downstairs. Jaden would get the boys to help him with the boxes. He didn't know what to do, Anthony was mad and he was afraid of what he would do while left alone, and he also had to deal with the hardship of leaving his boyfriend even though he was the one moving away.
"I don't want him to leave," Anthony whispered softly, back pressed against his bedroom door as he tried to level out his breathing. He knew that it was going to hurt, that he would empty for the next few weeks. It's not that he didn't trust Jaden, but he'd cheated before and he was deathly afraid of it happening again and him being left broken.
"Don't leave," he muttered to himself, knowing Jaden couldn't hear him but it didn't matter, he just needed to vocalize the phrase that had been troubling him for the past hour.
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I just watched call me by your name and I'm shook.
sorry, this one was sad, I just don't have any requests that I have like the motivation to do at the moment.
please vote and comment, I know it doesn't seem like a big deal to readers but like votes and stuff makes you feel good as a writer, it makes your work seem valid. And when a chapter flops it's that little stinging when you see that it was kind of shit yeEE yEEe
