I will not hurt you

Soup and Salad

21 Days Left

Mera's P.O.V

It was odd eating breakfast without Kylo this morning and being by myself again. Although we only spent two mornings together, I missed him sitting across from me. It was nice to be in his presence. Looking up and seeing his messy hair and tired eyes was something I adored the past two days. The way he messily ate his food showed that he wasn't a machine people made him out to be. He was human. He had feelings and interests.

Now it was the evening, and I had about an hour and a half before my dinner was scheduled to arrive. Nalda was kind enough to let me choose so I decided to have a salad and soup, something lighter than the meat constantly being forced in my stomach.

I spent that time in the training room with my lightsaber. It still feels weird to call it mine, knowing who's it was before me.

Darth Vader.

I spin it loosely in my hand, allowing it to drop by letting go of the hilt with all of my fingers besides my pointer and thumb. The spinning moves with striking from below is what I find to be the most challenging out of everything. Blocking is the easiest.

Of course I would never admit it to him, but I'm terrified of messing up a move and accidentally hitting Kylo. I know he could handle if but I would never forgive myself for it.

I think of the scar on his sculpted face, it didn't take away from his beauty but I can't help but wonder how bad it looked when it was fresh.

Rey did that.

A scavenger.

The same one Leia chose over me.

She may have Luke Skywalker's old lightsaber, but I have his father's. I imagine the look on Organa's face if she saw me with this saber, the red glow illuminating my figure. Smiling at the thought, I do a few back handed swing.

I've met that girl once. She was nice, sure. But she carried herself like she was better than everyone else. It seemed like I was the only one who could see through her whole "innocent little scavenger" charade. I tried bringing it up to Poe several times, but his excuse was always something along the lines of "I've never met her so I can't say anything."

A set of empty stormtrooper armor sits on a stand. I throw my lightsaber at it out of anger, thrusting my hand out as soon as it leaves my grip. It acts like a deadly boomerang, slicing through the white shields easily and spinning until the handle is back in my possession.

I sit on the ground, the sweat making the fabric stick to my skin. The blade of the saber disappears into the hilt, leaving the metal still slightly warm. I tilt my head back until I see the room upside down, my eyes wander to the spot where Kylo first kissed me and I smile.

It seems like ages ago that that happened, but in reality it was only a little over a week that had passed since that moment. I lean back completely on the floor, touching my lips lightly as I do so. My little time of serenity is interrupted by my bracelet buzzing, Nalda appearing in front of me. She informs me that my dinner is ready, and I stand to my feet and head to the dining room.

I consider moving my plate to the garden. Even with Kylo telling it was okay for me to go there, it wouldn't feel right without him there as well. I lower myself onto the chair, eating in a comfortable silence. The only noise is the sound of my fork sliding in and out of the lettuce. I eat quickly, maybe a little quickly. But it's my favorite type of soup, creamy tomato lassil. The fruit used to make it was very common on Kijimi while I grew up, it was something I always looked forward to when coming home from missions with my partner.