I will not hurt you

Worthless

30 Days left

Mera's P.O.V

My back is incredibly sore from all the work I put in yesterday, my arms ache even from doing the slightest bit of effort to lift myself up. I put my new clothes on and await the arrival of Grand Admiral Nalda again. At this point it's become a routine to get any negative thoughts out of my head before Kylo Ren gets to them first.

I have so many questions that remained unanswered. Why am I still here? Is anyone coming for me? Why is Kylo Ren training me? Why do I feel so at ease around him even when he makes me want to punch him in his beautiful ass face? Why was he encouraging me and uplifting me yesterday and not chewing me out every damn time I messed up?

All I need a little push in the right direction, that's all. One small nudge to show me what to do next.

The metal door opens and Kylo Ren stands in front of me, maskless. He nods for me to follow him and I do. I stand the slightest bit behind him as we walk, afraid if I go in front of me he'll snap.

We enter the training room again and he scans his hand to enter, not saying a word he throws me the staff from yesterday.

"Spin it and strike at me", he commands, bending his knees in a defense position. Something is off about his voice, like he's hiding something. I can't quite put my finger on it but his eyes are hard. His mind is blocked, nothing is audible.

"Don't do that" Ren spits, and I snap out of my dazed state, "don't try to act like you're strong enough to probe my mind, to find things out about me."

"Hell is that supposed to mean? You're the one forcing me to do all this shit because you think I have some sort of immaculate power." I retaliate, spinning the staff behind me and standing up straight.

"I was wrong, you proved yesterday that you're weak, too pure. You could never be a part of The First Order with how little you are able to do." He sticks his right arm out completely and another long wooden rod appears, flying into his hand.

"You kidnapped me from The Resistance Base, you're trying to make me your pet and after one day of this shit you think I'm not good enough? You're a child, it's too bad Snoke is dead because he would whoop your whiny ass into shape real quick Kylo" I bend my knees slightly and dig my heel into the ground.

The mention of Snoke hits a nerve with him and he charges full-force towards me.

The edge of his staff collides with mine, I push him off of me. It gives me about a second before he strikes at me again, the motion of us fighting continues for about twenty minutes. My side is burning, my lungs are begging for a break but I can only focus on him. He yells at me, telling me I'm worthless and I yell the same back at him. The butt of his baton strikes the side of my mouth, if I hadn't of moved last second my jaw would have been broken. Every ounce of anger and hatred in me I pour into our fight. Every single time I was close to loosing it and held it in is unleashed in this moment right now.

Our weapons hit each other one last time and he back up, his hair sticking to his face. Both of us are drenched in sweat, my mouth taste of blood and I wipe it with the back of my hand. In all of this I never break eye contact with Kylo Ren. The anger is radiating off of him and it's infecting me, making me want more.

Ren summons my staff and tosses both of ours to the side, approaching me slowly like an animal on it's prey. He stops right in front of my face, the tips of our shoes touching slightly. Even the smallest amount of contact with him makes my heart speed up. His breath is wild, chest rising and falling immensely as mine does the same.

"Move me", he nods his head as he says it.

I shake my head, I don't have any strength left within me. We're standing in the middle of the room, and his is so incredibly close physically and mentally.

"Move me you piece of shit!" He screams, making me flinch as droplets of his spit land on my face.

I wipe my cheeks, "Don't yell at me," I say through clenched teeth.

"Or what?" He asks with a slight tip of his head, "You have no one here but me."

Ren leans his mouth next to my left ear, "you're alone, no one is coming to get you. Not even Poe Dameron." he whispers quietly as ever.

I ball my left fist and with my right hand I swipe at the air in a small circle. He goes flying back to the wall, but manages to catch himself before making contact with the steel. Controlled, he lowers back to the ground.

He read my thoughts yesterday. In my moment of weakness he probed my mind and found out about Poe.

I expect him to choke me, to ignite his lightsaber and break me down to pieces.

But he doesn't.

Instead, a slow smile creeps onto his face and for a second I swear he laughed.

"What?" I spit, the saliva mixed with blood shoots out of my mouth.

"Where does the force comes from? What fuels it?" He asks calmly, moving towards me.

"You asked me this yesterday" I heave. I'm fighting my urge to throw him against the wall again.

"Answer it again then"

"Compassion, the force flows from compassion." The minute the words leave my mouth something in the air shifts, I know I'm wrong and so does Ren.

"That's only half of it", he is only a few feet away from me now.

"Have you ever wondered by the dark side has always ruled the galaxy, Mera?" Hearing him say my name sends chills down my spine.

I remain silent, and a tear runs down my face. I look at the floor so he doesn't see my moment of vulnerability.

"The Jedi use solely compassion, The Sith use their anger, their jealously, their rage, but also their compassion. That is why they have always been more powerful than the Jedi. Darkness rises and light to meet it. It's something The Jedi Order was never able to accept.", he starts to walk around me in a circle and I'm frozen in place. Not from him using the force, but rather just my own shock.

"That's not true" I answer, another tear falls.

"You just proved it to me, a few minutes ago. Yesterday I encouraged you, I was kind to you and told you to picture something, or rather someone, to have something to fuel the compassion inside of you. But you gained nothing from it, not even the slightest bit of strength came out of it. But today, when I taunted you and enraged you, you were able to throw me against a wall. When you couldn't move me a centimeter yesterday." He stops walking, standing close in front of me.

"That is not true." I say again, my voice breaks in the middle of the sentence. 

"Why do you refuse to believe it Mera?" He asks quietly.

"Because you have no compassion in you, nothing but hate and rage." I say shakily, finally making eye contact with him. 

"Do you honestly think I would be The Supreme Leader of the galaxy if I didn't have any compassion in me?" The question is very genuine, he's actually wants to know what I'm thinking. 

"No, I don't" I sigh, reaching for my face to wipe my tears. 

Kylo Ren grabs my wrist before I reach my cheeks, I look up at him with confused eyes as he lowers my hand down slowly to my side again and takes off his right glove before dropping it to the floor. The room is so quiet that even the soft leather can be heard hitting the floor, nothing but my shaky breathing and sniffles are present after that. He raises his bare hand and cups my cheek tenderly, wiping my under-eyes. I try to push him away but I can't, I don't want to. He stares down at me, like he's piecing me together. I feel a small push at my head, and harden my eyes. The mental probing stop, he tilts his head to the side and leans in. Our lips interlock gently, my eyes shut and I push into it. I don't know what has come over me, why I'm allowing myself to give into this. His left hand moves from my wrist to my waist, hooking around it easily. Without realizing I place my arms around his neck, still wet from the sweat, my fingers grip onto his hair. 

I haven't felt this safe in a long time, and I don't want to let go of him. 

(A/N They do be getting kissy kissy doe)