I'm Fine || l.s. ✓

Chapter 16

"Morning Haz, how are you feeling?" Louis smiled at Harry as his eyes fluttered open.

"Like shit."

"Well the good thing is that your fever has gone down. Do you still feel like you're gonna throw up?"

"Don't think so but my head hurts."

"Luckily for you we're going home today."

"Really? Oh thank god. Um I'll get showered and changed and stuff and then can we get taken home?"

"Yeah, think so."

Harry pushed himself up, closing his eyes as he waited for the black dots to disappear.

"Are you still dizzy?"

Harry nodded.

"Do you want me to help you to the bathroom?"

"I think I'm ok."

//

Louis entered their apartment, twirling around before flopping onto their sofa with a sigh of contentment.

"God it feels so good to be back. So, I was thinking I'd cook something tonight, what do you want?"

"You? Cook?" Harry joked.

"Oi piss off. I'm a brilliant cook. Anyway answer the question."

"I still don't feel too good so I'm not really hungry."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Um, you know how you said Eleanor is staying with us for a few days, when is she staying here?"

"3 days time, she's going to be staying for 4 days I think."

"Oh, alright." Harry sighed.

//

"Els!" Louis jumped up, opening the door and hugging her.

"Hey Lou." She hugged him back. "I've missed you."

Harry frowned, it had only been a week or so.

"I've missed you too, come in."

Harry stood up from the sofa, muttering a "hi." She ignored him, instead sitting down. "Um, I'll go upstairs." Yet again, he got no reply.

With a sigh he walked up the stairs, laying on his bed. She'd only just arrived and he felt miserable.

As he lay down on his bed, his thoughts drifted to bad ones. He began to think about all the things he wanted to change about himself.

His mind wondered to his weight and he soon remembered that he had scales in his bathroom. On the bus, they hadn't had them so he hadn't weighed himself on a while. He stepped on, biting his lip as he dared to look down. He was far too heavy. He had to try harder to lose weight.

He quickly put the scales away before staring at himself in the mirror. His tummy was too big and his skin was pale. He had dark circles under his eyes. His stupid green eyes, why couldn't he have something more normal? Brown eyes perhaps. He ran a hand through his curls, anger bubbling up inside him as his hand got caught on a knot.

"Fuck!" He yelled, punching the wall, it wasn't loud enough to be heard by the couple downstairs, but to Harry it felt like he had gotten the attention of the whole world. He covered his mouth, slipping down the wall as tears trailed down his red cheeks.

Once his sobs had died down he opened the cupboard door, pulling out a little black bag which contained his blades.

He bit his raw lip as he dragged it across his wrist, blood spilling out.