I'm Fine || l.s. ✓

Chapter 4

The interview had gone well, Harry not having to answer many questions as Liam or Louis usually took them. It hadn't lasted long, an hour at the most, which made him happy. He couldn't stand being sat in a room with cameras on him having to answer questions about his life.

"Harryyyy!" Niall ran up to him, jumping on his back.

"Get off Niall." Harry said firmly but urgently.

"Oh come on Harry." He held on tighter, wrapping his arms around Harry's shoulders.

"I said get off!" He shouted, louder than he'd meant to, causing the rest of the boys to look around and Niall to jump off immediately.

Harry snapped his head around desperately, trying to work out what had just happened. Before he knew it his breathing had sped up and he had taken off running down the halls.

He reached his room door, fumbling around for the key card. He finally managed to find it, scanning it and letting himself in. He rushed straight to the toilet, locking the door before collapsing to the floor against the wall.

With his head in his hands, he sat for a moment, silently willing himself not to do it. But it was too late, he had already dragged the washbag off the side, pulling out the blade and pulling it across his skin. He whimpered as blood started to appear in the cuts he had just made.

"You're such a fuck up." He gripped his hair, banging his head against the wall. "Your such a fucking fuck up! You fucking freak!" He screamed, repetitively banging his head against the wall.

"Harry?" He heard Louis's footsteps and immediately stopped, instead covering his mouth. "Harry what the fuck is going on?"

"Nothing." He replied, obviously choked up.

"Then why did you shout at Niall? Why are you shouting at yourself?"

"You didn't hear what I was saying right?" He panicked.

"No, but I wish I had. Come out of there so I can talk to you properly."

"No, just leave me alone. Go back to Eleanor and spend time with her. It would be much less tiring." His voice was thick.

"Haz. Come on love, let me talk to you."

Harry grabbed a bandage from the first aid kit, wrapping his arm up before pulling his sleeve back down.

He unlocked the door, slowly opening it and looking at Louis through his hair.

"Oh Haz, come here."

"I'm sorry." He whimpered into Louis's shoulder.

"I know you don't want to talk about it and I can tell you're going through something at the moment but please Harry, please talk to someone. You can't keep it all inside."

"I can. It's not even that big of a deal. I'm just stressed I'm sorry."

"It's ok love."

"Everyone hates me don't they?"

"No, not at all. We're just worried about you." Harry immediately knew he had to stop acting like this. He had to pretend to be happy so they'd stop worrying, so they'd stop asking him about his life.

"There's nothing to worry about. Honestly."

"If you say so. Oh, do you want to go out for food or all go to one of the rooms?"

"Can we just stay in the hotel, and go to like Niall's room or something? I don't really want to go out looking like this."

"Course. Do you wanna go over there now?"

"You go ahead. I'll be there in 5."

Harry stood in front of the mirror, dabbing a cold flannel against his face in order to make him look less red. It was still noticeable that he'd been crying, but significantly less. He changed into joggers and a jumper before following Louis.

"I'm sorry Niall." Harry greeted him with a hug.

"It's fine Curly." Niall took in that Harry's eyes were slightly red and puffy and his nose was flushed, tell tale signs he had been crying not long ago. "Let's sit down and order shall we? Liam and Zayn will be here in a minute."

//

The boys all sat around on the floor, eating whilst laughing and talking about Niall's latest mishaps. Harry joined in, yet his mind was somewhere else. Were the fans going to notice he was always wearing long sleeved tops? He could always wear a lot of bracelets but that was risky. Would they notice his smile was fake? That he wasn't happy? They were a literal bunch of detectives.

"Oi." Niall nudged him.

"What?"

"Are you looking forward to meeting Eleanor? She's going to be staying with us for a few days next week."

"Yeah...yeah of course."

"I'm glad. I can't wait for you to meet her."

"You'll be staying around with us though right? Like not going off on your own during the day."

"Course I'll stay around with you. I have not spent enough time with you recently."

"Why is she staying with us again?" Zayn questioned.

"Management wants us to, this whole Larry thing is still very out there. The fans can't get enough of us ey Harry." Louis nudged him with a wink. "I mean it's stupid because neither of us are even gay."

Harry laughed awkwardly, however just Louis's confirmation that he wasn't gay upset him. It was obvious he wasn't, he has a girlfriend but he could've been bi, like Harry. Well, Harry didn't know what he was, he had been attracted to girls, but Louis was the only male he'd been attracted to.

"Speaking of Larry, look what I've just been tagged in." Liam showed them his phone screen, a video of 'Larry cute moments' was showing.

"Let's watch it!" Niall laughed, snatching Liam's phone and finding a way to cast it onto the TV. "Might as well get comfortable, it's like 15 minutes long." He flopped onto the bed, Louis and Harry following.

"Aww look, baby Harry!" Louis pointed to the TV.

"Baby Louis is there too you know, it's Larry moments." Harry giggled.

"Awe look at you two with your lovey dovey eyes." Niall pouted, "I can see why people ship you."

"Shut up Niall, not you too!"

"You two are quite cute, Harry did you just kiss his cheek?"

"Wind it back."

"Oh my god you did!"

Harry shrugged, a small smile on his face. "I suppose I did."