Whelving Warmth (LAS #1)

15

Whelving Warmth
Chapter 15

"So, you're telling me that you have a fiancee?"

I nodded my head to Yvette.

We're currently in sec walk. It's our vacant and I told Theo not to meet me today because I would be spending time with Yvette. He agreed naman, makikipagbond nalang din daw muna siya sa friends niya.

I decided to finally tell my situation to Yvette, I badly need other's opinion about it. Hindi ko naman pwedeng kay Theo sabihin.

Litong-lito na ako. Habang mas tumatagal kaming magkasama ni Theo lalo akong naguguluhan.

Sa nararamdaman ko.

Sa sitwasyon.

Sa dapat kong gawin.

Sa lahat.

"But how about Theo? Does Theo know about this? Why did you let him court you? Is he waiting for nothing?" sunod sunod niyang tanong. "Ang gulo naman, Sadie"

"That's why I'm telling you about it," I closed my eyes tightly out of frustration, "I don't know what to do anymore."

I felt her caressing my back to comfort me.

"Okay, calm down bff. We got this," pagpapakalma niya sa akin, "Answer this first, do you love that Ashton guy?"

Natahimik ako habang nakatingin sa kanya.

"How about Theo? What do you feel towards him?"

I felt the same hammering rhythm in my chest that I kept on feeling for the past weeks. Pinatong ko ang kamay ko rito para pakiramdaman 'to.

"If you don't have feelings for Theo, then I think there's no problem," she added as if everything's really simple. "Just tell him to stop already and explain the situation to him, I think he'll understand naman."

Kaya lang kasi...

"Ang alam ko mahal ko si Ash," umiwas ako ng tingin.

It's the truth.

It's already engraved in my mind since I learned about my feelings for him. Na si Ashton lang yung para sa akin. Na siya lang yung mahal ko kahit anong mangyari.

Wala nang iba.

"Pero?" tanong ni Yvette. Nag-iintay nang sasabihin ko.

"Pero si Theo," I let out a heavy sigh. "I can't understand myself since I met him. And it's frustrating because I've always been in control of my thoughts"

She remained looking at me, encouraging me to talk.

"At first, I don't like being with him. But later on, I found myself looking for him when he's not around"

My memories with him started to replay in my head.

The days that I'm so annoyed everytime he'll suddely show up in the cafè.

Nung sinasadya ko na talagang hindi lagyan ng gamit yung bakanteng pwesto sa tapat ko kasi alam kong dadating siya.

Kung gaano ako nanibago nung hindi siya nagpaparamdam sa akin.

"I know that the situation would worsen when I spend more time with him, when I entertain him. It felt like trouble waiting to happen. But I.. I still dive into it willingly."

I could have stop it when I already noticed that I'm being used to his presence. I know that staying with him would make the situation complicated, but I still did.

For some reason, I chose to be with him.

"I thought it was because of the thrill"

He made me experience a lot of things for the first time. Things that I have never done in the past. Things that I've never thought that I will enjoy.