The Bubble Reviews 2.0 (ON HIATUS)

Sky_is_limit review: To and Fro With You

Book: To and Fro With You

Author: sdaniel325

Reviewer: sky_is_limit

Hey there! So, you wanted me to focus on the flow and pace of the plot along with grammar. As always, I mention other things too, so here we go!

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Title/Cover/Blurb: 

I find your title to be 100% unique and actually really cutesy. From what I read, I believe it matches the story quite well, so that's always a plus. I don't have much to critique because I do like it. I believe if I was a normal reader, I would definitely be caught by the title.

From the cover, I kind of get heaven and happiness. I want to assume that's what you were going for which I completely agree with. Typically, I like to see a bit more for covers, but the simplicity of the warm sky is actually really beautiful. For me, you kind of get a soft feeling when looking at it and it helps that the cover is easy on the eyes. One thing, the title could be a bit more clear. "To and Fro With" is done really small so that bit is a little straining to read. I recommend having the title a bit more there so it's more noticeable and easy to read.

Your blurb could use a lot of work. After being delivered a beautiful title and cover, I expected to read a description that perfectly hit all points. For me, it's just not hooking enough. The description of the characters is an old thing and I feel like we can learn who they are through the book. The blurb is meant to have a brief intro to them, list a conflict or climax, then hint at the resolution. Your blurb barely covers it for me and I don't think it would have been enough to make me read further. Consider reworking it.

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Grammar (focus): 

Hey, so this was a focus area and you wanted me to talk about grammar mistakes that I found.

Let's start with the sentence structure. Very often, your sentences missed vital words that helped the flow. The missing words heavily impacted the readability for me because instead of smoothly going along, I had to reread to understand what was actually being said. I also noticed a lot of people pointing out those mistakes. If you don't focus on anything else, this is the one thing you should focus on. Once the readability if shot, it makes it hard for readers to carry on with the story.

On the same path of word usage, sometimes the word choice didn't reflect well with the sentences. For example, in the first chapter, the word 'earbuds' was completely overused. For me, I felt like the story was focused more on the devices than on the scene happening. That's a bit of a stretch, but I did notice repetitive words and sentence starters used. They could easily be switched out with something else like objects, devices, etc. As mention, a lot of the sentences would start with she, he, or a name. To increase readability and help with your sentence complexity, I recommend expanding on how your sentences start. It'll really help smoothen out the flow of the writing.