The Bubble Reviews 2.0 (ON HIATUS)

Sky_is_limit review: An Odor of Deception

Book: An Odor Of Deception

Author: Gossiplanet

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Reviewer: sky_is_limit

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Hi! So, you asked me to focus on if the plot is understandable because it has a mystery element. I still touched base on other things such as grammar and a brief mention of title, cover, and blurb.

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Title/cover/blurb:

The title is very interesting and unique. With a search on Wattpad, I didn't find any other stories with this title. I also feel it fits perfectly with the premise of the story. Your cover is also really nice. I see Joseph and Ruby when I look at it and they seem sneaky on the cover. The only thing is the author's name, it's placed a bit awkwardly. The blurb fits and we get a sense of what the story is about. It could use just a bit of work, but overall, it's fine.

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Grammar:

The grammar starts out unnoticeable. As I continued reading, I found some issues that made the readability just a little hard. First, the dialogue isn't tagged properly. There's nothing too bad, just the punctuation. A few times, there were run-on sentences that kind of hurt the flow of the story just a bit. My main concern is the POV changes that occasionally happen. It'll go from third to first-person, so that's something to look out for. I noticed a few times where the wording was just a little confusing along with words being randomly hyphenated.

Another concern I had was the purple prose. When reading, I felt like there were so many unnecessary words and descriptions added in that I honestly got confused. There was just excessive use of adjectives and adverbs. Sometimes simple is better because too much purple prose hurts the writing.

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Plot Development (focus):

So, you got to the plot pretty early on which is good. You did a nice buildup and we found the main idea coming in the fifth chapter. You mentioned your story has an element of mystery. Well, I actually don't get mysterious upon first glance at reading the story. It's not what I thought about throughout reading either. That may be due to it still being early on. I really just get regular vibes from it and a possible chance at romance because of how Joseph reacted to Ruby at the event.

I think you have a good pace, overall. I don't get any red flags from it and it seems to be moving naturally.

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Character Development:

Let's get into characters. There's not much I can say because it's still so early in the story. Let me mention dialogue and interaction.

Half the time, I was confused about what they were talking about. The interaction between each character came off a bit odd to me as in, I didn't find their thoughts or their words to match with the setting. For example, Emily and Ruby were talking about a magenta dress and dust? I just didn't get it. That could be due to the purple prose mentioned earlier.

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Personalities:

I think you did well to separate each character from each other. I have to agree with Joseph about Ruby being rude at first glance. She automatically thought he was coming to hit on her and it seemed a bit self-centered. Great job there. I was also happy that she apologized which doesn't happen often with characters so early.

I think Emily may be my favorite character so far. She seems like a person who will keep Ruby on the right track.

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Overall enjoyment:

I didn't read past chapter five. I wasn't able to properly get into the story and I think it's because of the excessive describing. Your descriptions are amazing and I think you do well, then it becomes over-described.

I feel like I just didn't properly understand what was happening throughout five chapters.

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Advice:

Cut back on some of the adjectives and adverbs used. Simple can be better. I love the idea of your story and I feel like I could love the plot too, I just don't understand what is going on. Try reading through and seeing if you're able to properly picture things. Your characters are good, your plot is good. Just work on the over-describing and some of the other grammar issues I pointed out.

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