The Bubble Reviews 2.0 (ON HIATUS)

Sky_is_limit review The Other World

Bookname: The Other World

Author: FeministWitch_13
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Reviewer: sky_is_limit

Hi! So, you asked me to focus on characters, dialogue, and descriptions. I'll include dialogue with the grammar section and the character development section. I'll include the description in the grammar section and in the plot development section. And I always focus on other things!

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Title/Cover/Blurb:

Your title is very unoriginal and overused. With a quick search on Wattpad, I found a plethora of other stories with the same title. Even though it doesn't relate to your story, I think it can be changed to something more unique and noticeable. I also noticed that you asked for some title suggestions. Your cover is quite nice actually. I think the colors reflect the theme of the story nicely and it blends well together. The subtitle is hard to read though, so consider not having it if you ever change the cover. The blurb can be worked on. I feel like, for me, it's not hooking enough because it's very short. The last line is really good. The font for the first sentence is a bit hard to read and I realize it's more of a stylistic choice.
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Grammar (focus)

Hey, the description will be explained here.

Immediately from the prologue, I'm very impressed. Your writing style was good at first glance and I was excited to continue reading. Your descriptions carrying forward were amazing. Each detail left a nice and vivid picture in my mind which really helped immerse me into the story. Your comparisons, I felt, were unique and creative and I think that made things more enjoyable. So, as far as descriptions go, you've done well in my book.

Now, we're going to get into a bit of the heavier stuff. Your sentence structures were fine, but they lacked commas in someplace which would provide better readability. Each time a place missed a comma, it ruined the flow of the story for me because I would have to go back and reread it in the proper way. Furthermore, you tend to add spaces before punctuation in dialogue. This was something I noticed immediately because I thought it was a typo at first.

So, I did google this to make 100% sure. You do not need to put a space before punctuation. That distracted me because it was all I could focus on sometimes. Continuing with dialogue, I highly recommend separating it. Meaning, each character who speaks gets their own line. Combining dialogue paragraphs can be confusing and to avoid that, speaking gets separate lines. Okay, and finally with dialogue. It wasn't always done properly. Remember that tags such as said and told get commas unless a question mark or exclamation point is used. Then pronouns become lowercase. If it's an action, periods are used and the pronouns are uppercase. Just keep that in mind.