The Bubble Reviews 2.0 (ON HIATUS)

Emmiepooh2 review: When the Sun Rose

Book: 1.2| When The Sun Rose

Author: mars4566

Reviewer: emmiepooh2

Hey, Mars! I'm back at reviewing you again!!! Recently, I reviewed your 1.1 book and it was a good read that kept me imagining the scenes that were left unknown. Now I am using a basic template for your review but with a twist.

Disclaimer: This book review is on the second book of Mars' collection. If interested in reading it, go to 1.1 first! Though the main characters are different, it is best to read in order, in my opinion.

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Title/cover/blurb/epigraph:

Your cover is vibrant and a legit piece of work. The title of the story flows with the plot and makes a cute thing with 1.1. Your blurb is straight to the point and hooking! Also, I really enjoyed the epigraph and will know it'll make an even larger impact later when reading it.

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Plot:

I love that your plot describes losing a baby so well!! It is a major thing that happens and you didn't jump into it. You made it feel real because it is real. The best part of the plot was that you showed the aftermath of her losing the child she couldn't connect with due to her idiot of a husband.

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Grammar:

When starting sentences with the word, 'but' you need to make sure that there are no 'and' etc in it. It will cause a run-on and those kinds of things can ruin the plot. We do not want anything to ruin your amazing story! I am thankful that you did make the 'but' sentences at the beginning of the paragraphs though. That's a key reminder when using the word 'but,' at the beginning of a sentence.

In the first chapter, down at 'Khan.... assignment...,' you have a run-on for the second sentence. Here is an example you can feel free to use to replace that sentence, ' She would curl up with a new book to read or maybe work on an assignment. ' You had other grammatical errors along the same lines that I recommend for you to work on. Other than that, you are gold with this short story!

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Overall Enjoyment:

I may be biased at this point, but I really love your writing. It is something to open society's eyes for these problems that happen in society, on a daily basis. People shouldn't make others feel so bad about themselves. They shouldn't want to put the child first in that issue when they know the outcome. They shouldn't make their significant other feels less than when they are clearly undeserving of the one being mistreated.

Final thought, if I saw this book I would read it and tell people like I am here, to read the flipping good book. I hope I get to see you asking for a review again!

Thank you, Em! And thank you so much to our reviewee for trusting us with their story. Whenever you guys get a chance, go and check out both 1.1 and 1.2!