The Bubble Reviews 2.0 (ON HIATUS)

Sky_is_limit review: In between the Lines

Book name: Inbetween the lines

Author: caCrisostomo
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Reviewer : sky_is_limit

Hi! You wanted me to focus on overall enjoyment, grammar, and target market. I'll include the target market (traditional?) with the plot. I'll also touch on other things.

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Title/Cover/Blurb:

I find the title creative for the direction of the story. There's a bit of a pun there as well because the saying is 'read between the lines' and the MC is an author. But overall, the title is overused and a bit generic. With a search on Wattpad, I found a ton of other books with the exact same title and your story was several books down. Personally, I'm not a fan of the cover. If I were a reader, I most likely wouldn't stop to read, but I'm only one person and I can't speak for everybody. I just don't find the forest green appealing. But I can say that the cover does reflect the title and I assume what the overall story is really about. I think the blurb can be worked on just a bit. Some things are repetitive from the first sentence and the paragraph below it. I don't think the blurb is enough to bring readers in. I found it just a bit bland and confusing, so I do suggest reworking it.

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Grammar (focus):

Overall, your grammar is amazing. The mistakes I found weren't distracting nor did they interrupt the flow of the story. You mention English isn't your first language. Despite that, you've done extremely well. There are just a few things I'd like to mention.

Dialogue does need some work. Your tags are punctuated incorrectly. With dialogue, if there's a tag such as said, told, hissed - pronouns (he, she, they) should be lowercase. If you start with an article such as 'a,' that is also lowercase. Anything else, meaning an action tag (He picked his paper up), should be uppercase. Furthermore, the speaking tags need commas before then unless an exclamation point or question mark is used. I believe that's all to do with dialogue.

Now, your sentence structures are really good. Sentences are very descriptive which I can appreciate quite a lot. Everything is vivid and you do well in not overusing words or phrases.

Let's talk about the format. Overall it's readable, but I found your chapters way too long, in my personal opinion. That's why I stopped reading after chapter two. In the traditional sense, your chapter length is probably fine and actually preferable. But for Wattpad, I think your chapter was a bit too long because it is difficult to read such long chapters on a mobile phone. That goes hand in hand with long paragraphs. Sometimes they were too long and needed to be split up, especially if it's after or before dialogue.

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Plot Development (focus):

Okay, I mentioned some of the traditional bit above. Before that, I'm going to talk about plot uniqueness.

Personally, I haven't read any stories where the MC is an author, at least not so in the zone. So, I do find the direction of the plot to be unique. I think readers will be very excited to see where the story really goes.

Now, your target market. I get new adult and adult vibes from this story. That's about 18-30 and ages above that. I'm going to say that's where your target market is because I can't see any teenagers reading it because it's not like teen fiction if that makes sense. Either way, I do think your story would work well in the traditional sense. If you were to publish, I think your story would do very well.

I'm going to mention chapter-length again. In the Wattpad sense, I actually found myself not able to get through your chapters because it wasn't for me and the length really hurt the readability for me.

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Character Development:

I was unable to get far enough to really determine the personality of the character and development. I'll just have to touch on Astorious.

So, the premise is he hasn't written in five years, a sequel that's due. I'm assuming that has to do with a past relationship? Either way, I believe you do well in displaying his emotions regarding writing the sequel. Clearly, he's hurting and he's not really in the zone. To me, he comes off as discouraged and possibly even depressed in a way.

Other than that, I don't know much about his character because of how early I stopped reading.

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Overall Enjoyment (focus):

I don't want to say that I didn't enjoy reading, but I just found it hard to get through the chapters really. The readability was extremely hard for me. But how I feel is not what others feel. There may be a lot of people who enjoy long chapters and depending on the genre, I'm just not one of them.

So, overall, I loved your plot and story idea. I'm just not a fan of the chapter length.

Advice: Whenever you get the chance, read through your chapters, and do a bit of editing. I do recommend splitting up your chapters, but that's just how I feel. If you like your chapters how they are, them keep them that way. Just keep in mind that it may push away readers.

I do think the title may need some reworking because there are so many other stories with the same title. Also, consider reworking your blurb so it's a little more precise and hooking.

Let's thank sky one again for her amazing reviews, and her client for trusting us! We hope you're satisfied !