"I Write My Own Story"

Dix-neuf

TW: Self harm

Draco was sitting in a compartment with Pansy and Blaise on the way back to Hogwarts, which was honestly exhausting. They wanted all the details on his winter break, and he was getting tired of answering their questions. Until one particular question came up.

"Did you guys have sex?" Pansy asked eagerly.

Draco flushed red. "Why do you even want to know, you hag?"

"They did!" Blaise exclaimed.

"Who was fucked and who did the fucking?" Pansy queried.

"Excuse me?" Draco asked, taken aback.

"I said, who was fu—"

"No, I heard what you said. Why do you want to know?"

Pansy and Blaise made awkward eye contact. "Curiosity?" Blaise said unconvincingly.

"You bet on me again, didn't you." Draco sighed when they didn't answer. "Who bet what?"

"I bet you would do the fucking because you're a bloody control freak, and honestly can be very seductive if you try." Pansy said seriously. "But Blaise thought you would be the one to be fucked because you act like a girl sometimes according to him, because you care about your appearance."

Draco shook his head. "I hate to break it to you Pansy..." he said as sincerely as possible.

"Yes! Hand over the money, Parkinson." Blaise cheered.

"Just kidding. Did you not notice the fact that Harry was limping?"

As the friendly banter continued, Draco found himself missing Harry, and wondered if Harry was missing him. What he didn't know was that a student of Hogwarts had seen their interactions at Kings Cross, and didn't intend to keep it a secret.

<><><><><><><><>

"Oi, Potter!" Harry heard a familiar voice call out behind him as Hermione helped him through the halls. "What's with the limp?" Turning around, he saw Draco Malfoy, the very boy who had caused the issue, with his friends Pansy and Blaise on either side of him.

"I don't think that's any of your concern, Malfoy." He replied coolly. People were stopping in the hallway to witness the mock argument, as there had not been a Potter/Malfoy conflict in a while. Harry and Draco had decided to keep the banter up, to keep people off their trail.

"Oh really, Potter. Did you get attacked by something and your little goons weren't there to save your arse?"

Harry glared at Draco, not only for the show, but for the smart remark about his arse. Other people may not have picked it up, but with how close they had been the past three weeks, Harry had gotten used to decoding Draco's way of speaking.

"Like I said, Malfoy, it's none of your bloody concern." Harry repeated, making his tone sound irritated.

"Go annoy someone else, deatheater." Ron called out, but immediately looked horrified when he realized what he'd said.

Draco stiffened up, and Harry could practically feel his surprise and self hatred radiate off him. With a final determined glare, Draco set off to the Slytherin dorm, leaving his friends behind.

"Ron, what the bloody hell was that?!" Harry asked angrily.

"I dunno, it just came out." Ron shook his head and frowned. "I hope Malfoy didn't do anything stupid because of something stupid I said."

Harry sighed. "You and me both."

<><><>

⚠️TW⚠️

Draco locked himself in his dorm room the second he got there. All the self hatred and negative thoughts he'd been ignoring for months suddenly came rushing back at him at full force and he couldn't take it.

He stumbled into his bathroom and steadied himself on the sink. He looked up into the mirror and saw his face and such self hatred and anger overwhelmed him. He felt as if he couldn't breathe. He looked over to the untouched razor head he had brought along with him, and with no second thoughts, he broke it, and all the razor blades tumbled out of the head and into his sink.

Picking up one of the blades and pressing it to his skin, he paused to consider Harry. Harry wouldn't want him to do this.

Trembling, he tried to pull away, put he was too close to not follow through. His self hatred spread through his mind like a cloud, and he felt all rational thought fade away as he pressed the blade to his skin and sliced.

The pain was addicting as he remembered and with the thoughts running through his brain, he saw no reason to stop. So on and on he went.

3...4...5...6...7...

Sorry not sorry? The angst was gonna come back at some point, and I know it was kinda sudden, but yeah. It helps move the book along.