The Secrets We Keep - Taekai

the one with the topic

There was a subject that Jongin and Taemin were both avoiding bringing up on their ride back to Taemin's house.

Kids.

It was evident to Jongin that eventually - maybe sooner than eventually - they would want kids. Hell Jongdae had even brought it before, making the comment that eventually what he was dealing with would he Jongin's to deal with as well and said that he was sure they'd eventually want to start a family of their own.

And there had maybe been a discussion or two where Jongin and Taemin had lumped in not having kids with what all they were missing out on by being together.

But tonight - Jongin had noticed the smile that had come across Taemin's face when Jongin had been helping his niece and nephew out together a new Lego set that he had bought for them.

It was the one that quite possibly would have sent him running had he been with anyone besides Taemin. The one that would probably land him in a conversation he tried to avoid. The you know what, I think I want to have kids with you one.

And somehow the thought of that conversation scared him even more with Taemin. Because, as they both knew, there was no way that would ever happen for them.

Jongin had spent a lot of his life assuming he'd have a family of his own one day. And then when he came to terms with who he was, he also let go of that idea. He didn't want to hold out hope for a future that wouldn't be nearly as easy for Jongin to accomplish because of who he was.

He had come to the conclusion that either he'd have kids but be living a fake life with a wife that he didn't really love or care for - not in the way he'd be expected to - or he'd be with someone he truly loved, but unable to have kids with them.

And now here they were, Taemin's fingers were drumming on the steering wheel and his eyes were focused outside the car. Jongin was keeping his eyes on his phone - talking with his sister.

Noona: Thank you for
entertaining these two
rugrats. Seriously, Rahee
and Raeon enjoyed the
time they got to spend
with both you and Taemin.
Noona: Feel free to come
visit whenever you want.
I'm sure these two
troublemakers will love
regular visits from their
Uncle Nini.
Noona: And their Uncle
Minnie.
Noona: Too soon?
Probably too soon. But
really - we all had a great
time tonight.

Nini: Maybe a little
too soon. But we also
enjoyed the visit and
will definitely come
back over soon.

Noona: You better.
Noona: And Jongin, the
most important thing to
all of us is that Taemin
makes you happy. And
everyone can see that.
Noona: I just want you to
know that none of the
other details matter to us
as long as you're happy.

Taemin pulled into the driveway and Jongin shoved his phone in his pocket, getting out of the car as soon as Taemin had shut it off. Taemin got out of the car quickly after Jongin.

"Hey what's up?" Taemin asked, reaching forward to grab Jongin's arm and stop him from walking any further.

"Nothing. I just..." Jongin said, trailing off and ending his thought with a shrug.

"You just what? Started freaking out for no reason? Is this because we were at your sisters? She seemed fine with us being, you know, us in front of the kids."

Jongin shook his head, "No - she's completely fine with it. Texted me a few minutes ago saying the little troublemakers loved spending time with us both."