The Secrets We Keep - Taekai

the one where they say goodbye

A chapter that had to happen
unfortunately.

Jonghyun's funeral.

It had been a hard day on everyone. Especially Key and Taemin – and Taemin felt stupid for taking it as hard as Key was. After all, Key was Jonghyun's boyfriend. He had lost so much more than Taemin did in that one day. He had lost a boyfriend, a friend, and a bandmate all in one.

Key kept trying to tell him that it was understandable that Taemin was as upset as he was. Taemin had lost an older brother, a confidant – one of his best friends, hell one of his only friends.

Taemin just didnt understand.

He didn't understand how someone could just be gone as easily as Jonghyun was now gone. He was just here one day and gone the next. And Taemin missed him more than he ever thought he could miss anyone.

■

Jongin didnt understand anything either. Not really. Taemin was avoiding him, had been ever since he got the phone call. The one that told Taemin to come to the hospital, that something had happened. The one that came while Jongin was fucking him.

He knew Taemin was upset, he understood that. He missed Jonghyun too – he missed him a lot.

Jonghyun had taken Jongin under his wing when Jongin needed it the most. He taught Jongin how to be a man, a real man. Jonghyun taught Jongin how to treat Taemin right even though they couldn't be out about their relationship.

And even though they didn't always see eye to eye, even though Jonghyun had spent a ton of time being skeptical of Jongin - Jongin knew he'd never find another mentor, friend, like Jjong.

He also knew his boyfriend would never be the same.

When the call had came through on Taemin's phone, it had been their first night alone in a couple months due to how busy both of their schedules had been. So they hadn't wasted any time - and there was a split second where when Taemin's phone rang, Jongin had been pissed about it.

It felt like it was just their luck. Finally get some time alone, finally be fucking - only to have it interrupted.

The feeling had subsided as soon as Taemin was off the phone - telling Jongin that he didn't know what was wrong but that they needed to get to the hospital.

■

There were times where Taemin would have sworn that Jonghyun knew him better than he knew himself. And Taemin admittedly was scared that that was gone now. It was more than just that though.

Jonghyun had always provided a steady force to Shinee. Taemin was viewed as the groups brat, Onew was timid and gentle, Minho was competitive, and Key was Key. Taemin wasn't naïve enough to think that without Jonghyun they still would have reached the same amount of popularity. He knew they would'nt have.

He knew the second that he answered the phone call to find Minho's voice on the other side of the line that something was wrong. Minho had sounded broken – defeated. Minho never sounded defeated as long as Taemin had known him.

You need to come to the hospital – is Jongin with you? Have Jongin drive you up here. You need to get up here as soon as you can. Right now, Taemin.

It was the way he had said the words. The lack of explanation was also a red flag for Taemin. If it hadn't of been something bad, Minho would have explained. He would have reassured Taemin that everything was okay. But he hadn't. He said Taemin needed to get up there as soon as he could.