assured liar ☼ poe dameron

XIX

My tears fell down my cheeks freely. No one dared touch me or try and console me at that time.

My head ached with my own thoughts. So much has happened in the past month.

But now I fight this alone.

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I clawed at my bloodshot eyes. The deep dark circles took up most of my face, I had cried out all my tears. My cheeks felt numb with pain and my head pulsed in agony.

I had once again woken up in the middle of the night. It was rare if I got any sleep at all and it felt as if my brain was burning out. My body needed to rest but my mind wanted to burn my anxiety.

Every night was a futile tussle of conflicting thoughts. Half of me was scared to sleep as a I kept on having the same dream playing on repeat; the last moments of Poe, his X-Wing falling pathetically from the sky. His final pleading shout...

"Gods"

I rubbed my fists against my eyes. My rough and dry skin feeling bumpy and uncomfortable. I sighed deeply when I saw the time 2:26 am. My alarm clock glowed red as usual, lighting my room slightly. I will admit, I missed having a roommate. Someone to talk to late into the night, someone to tell all my problems.

That was ruined the day Kotrana stepped from behind the shadow of Kylo Ren.

I kicked myself mentally. How the fuck didn't I notice? Was I that caught up in lessons?

I was lying in the bed accepting that I wouldn't be getting back to bed anytime soon. Curfew was still on so I couldn't go out. Instead I rolled out of the warm sheets slowly and headed to my window.

I pulled up the purple curtains and opened the full length window. The rush of cold air swarmed me and the view captivated me. The sky of midnight velvet still gave into the light of the scattered stars. Even in the darkest of times there was still light.

The clusters of faint and bold light painted the sky with a mysterious feeling.

I was sitting down cross legged at this point, completely mesmerised by the balls of fire. In a way it relaxed me, sending me off into an unexpected sleep.

I didn't dream this time.

The ear piercing alarm of the base wake up call shook through my body. My eyes shot open instantly. I looked at my surroundings, I was still propped up against the wall facing the window.

I supported myself with my good hand and got up. My burnt hand was recovering nicely, still blistered which absolutely killed when I had a shower but it was bearable.

A buzz from the counter caught my attention, I had a message on my datapad.

Please report to General Organa's office at 0800 hours.

It was 0755. Shit.

I rushed getting dressed, flattening my hair down as I jogged through the corridors without using a mirror. Hopefully it didn't give away the fact that I just woke up.

Luckily I did make it in time.

A smile instantly took over my tired face as I recognised who opened the door. The girl mirrored the smile when she recollected who I was. She was the one that took me to the General last time.

"Nice to see you again" Her flawless white hair moved behind her as she gestured for me to enter the room.

"Likewise" I shot her a genuine grin and we walked in comfortable silence to the office. The girl turned to me and held her hand on the door.

"I'm Maree" She offered me a friendly look.

"Skye"

"I know" she giggled and opened the door allowing me to walk forward.

I didn't pay much attention to the office I just walked straight to Leia who stood looking at me with a sorry smile. I took a deep breath and embraced for whatever she had to say.

"Skye" she didn't break eye contact when she spoke, radiating mother like tendencies making me feel comfortable around her.

"Skye we have tracked down where Commander Dameron crashed" she looked down and paused for a moment. I felt my eyes well up and I looked away from the General.

"His location turned off at Savareen, we have sent a small team to see if somehow he survived the crash" she searched to meet my eyes, trying to see my reaction before she continued.

I refused to look at her.

"I am sure you're just as worried as I am" she fiddled slightly with her fingers, calloused and frail but still emitting a strong will.

"We have deemed it appropriate you continue your work as a pilot under the instructions of Vella Nost".

I felt myself internally scream. My breathing was shallow but rapid as I processed the information.

"I know how you might be feeling but I promise she wont lay a hand on you"

I just stared at the floor.

"I spoke to her personally" Leia added, as if that was going to make me feel better.

Vella made it her mission to attack me at any time claiming it was "character building". Bullshit. But I couldn't afford to argue now. There was a fight to be won.

"I understand" I left without acknowledging Leia as I left briskly. I knew it was rude but it didn't bother me at this point. I deserved to be pissed off at the world.

I had nothing.

I stormed back to my dorm in complete silence and slammed the door behind me, gaining stares from people passing by. I gathered air in my lungs and released it with annoyance and sadness. My mind swirled with stars, black and white marks blurring my vision. The room spun endlessly. The sound of my heart rattling in my chest deafened me. I grasped onto my head tightly, fingers curling and gripping my scalp. I held my hair in my fists and let out a blood curdling scream feeling like shard of glass stabbing my throat.

"You got away again" his mechanical voice swam in the room.I opened my eyes wide and searched the room, he wasn't there.

"You." I couldn't find the words to say how I felt. I frantically ran through the room pulling open draws and closets looking for the voice.

A deep menacing chuckle echoed in my brain.

"Your precious friends" he laughed louder now .

"All dead..."

"Please just-"

"No. I will find you my pet. I will find you and you will come back to me. You will not resist the First Order again."

My heart ran at 100mph at the thought of seeing the murderer in a mask again. I sniffled and scrunched my eyes together tightly causing a single tear to fall.

I felt an invisible hand hold my face and rub away the tear with a thumb.

He hissed and released his grip leaving without a trace of emotion.

"Until next time, pet"

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not the best chapter imo :/

it'll get better I hope hehe

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