Hate Me

✋✋Hold Up✋✋

Nathaniel seems to be very nice and considerate and I mentally scold myself for the way I acted towards him on our first meeting. Goodness knows what he thinks of me now.

The rest of the day goes smoothly and Nathaniel and I mostly chat the time away. Being a very social and jovial person, Nathaniel seems to hide behind me and ditch his newcomer title as he tries his best to be free and open to all those who show interest.

Unlike when I first met Victor, he is the one to start conversations.

Nathaniel is very free and also good-looking. He tells me about why his mother makes him carry the biggest bottle of Eva water around, his age, how many siblings he has, and the name of his old school, and that too without me asking.

He does not look Nigerian maybe that's why his surname is Briggs and his hair is extremely curly. Also his exceptional accent. But I know better than to ask. Not cause he won't tell but cause I do not want to seem like the nosy type.

Unlike Victor, he does not seize every opportunity to hold my hand. But he does not seat the right way, instead, he faces me and maintains that seating position for a long as possible.

I am beginning to sweat as there has been a power outage for quite some time and I always carry my bandana around. I reach into my bag and get it out. I then use it to clean my face.

While doing this, I can feel my system tense. My heart rate picks up and I begin to find it difficult to breathe so I drag as much air as possible in to fill my lungs, before letting it out again but this doesn't help.

I begin to sense prickles of sweat form on my forehead, neck, and along my back. I can't help the discomfort so I try to dry the sweat on my head with the bandana again.

Before all this, I saw Nathaniel staring at me While I drew my bandana out of my bag. My breathing is beginning to deteriorate and I need more air than I am getting.

I look up at the ceiling and give a deep sigh trying to let out as much air as possible to create more space for my next intake of air. Amidst all this, I can feel Nathaniels eyes on me but I dare not look at him. I begin to feel tears form in my eyes.

I don't know why, maybe cause I'm scared of being exposed, angry at the type of life I'm living, living with such a predicament for 14years and still no change, the fact that I do not know what caused this sudden attack or the fear of being mocked by Silvia.

All this comes together to form one big trigger for my tears.

My head is still facing the ceiling cause I fear that if I bring it down, my tears would pour uncontrollably anyways... My tears still fall but I catch it with my bandana when it has gotten halfway down my cheeks.

As I am dabbing at my tears, I take the bandana past my nose and my nostrils get filled with a familiar, pleasant yet discomforting sent. Then I realize it's my perfume!

Remember I said I don't like mild perfumes? well, my harsh pef is what is causing all this. Initially, whenever I spray my clothes, I put them out in the sun so that the air can work on it by reducing the strength of the pef but still leave it's sent but cause I was so excited yesterday, I forgot to put my uniform and bandana out after spraying.

I am nearing the point where I would start gasping for air. I throw my bandana on the floor cause I realized that it is what is making it hard for me to breathe.

All of a sudden a white handkerchief is stretched to me. I turn to see it's Nathaniel, he gives me a comforting smile and points at his handkerchief with his eyes.

I take it from him and put it over my nose, I begin to breathe in and the smell of fabric fills my nose. It's clear through its smell that it's new and hasn't been used. For some reason, the pure smell of the fabric seems to soothe the burning pain in my chest.