𝗣𝗼𝗲𝘁 𝗠𝗲 𝗔 𝗣𝗼𝗲𝗺

waters i (don't) know

i'm drowning in waters i never entered,
ones i stayed away from,
and forbid myself from swimming in.

the waters are dark,
one could never see in them,
so i refused to even look near the edge of the lake.

and yet somehow each time i passed the lake,
the closer i came to the edge,
counting the pebbles it took and claimed as it's own.

the closer i came,
the farther i got from my own rules—
the fear of the darkness and it's wideness.

telling myself that a simple dip inside,
would never harm me or bring regret,
was my greatest mistake.

the waters are empty but a siren on their own,
they don't need to sing to draw me in,
for now i float under the surface without air.

i'm drowning in waters i never entered—
not by my own volition,
as the curiosity and envy of freedom took me to the edge.

each scream for help was one filled with water,
lungs filling with the darkness it held,
vision going dark.

as my chest is out of breath,
my heart seeks for relief,
and pumps faster than never before.

i wail my arms and feet,
hoping somehow it will help bring me to the surface,
and yet i keep sinking.

i'm drowning in waters i never wanted to know,
despite how curious of it's darkness i was,
i regret ever wondering what it's trickle would feel like on my arms.

i let myself sink,
as i give up hope on ever reaching the surface again,
and let the waters wrap around me.

i'm not dead,
but it feels like i should be,
my chest aches and my heart feels broken—

i'm deep inside waters i know,
ones that were always there waiting for me,
in search for it's owner.

these waters are my own to claim,
as i created them in the first place,
god forbid i try and blame my own darkness on a mysterious phenomenon—

the edge is my own mind,
creating a fine line between good and bad,
and i've fallen deep inside evil.