𝗣𝗼𝗲𝘁 𝗠𝗲 𝗔 𝗣𝗼𝗲𝗺

Dam Of Patience

I let my emotions get the best of me,
how I cuss while writing poems yet wont ever actually write.

Today,
it's fucking different.

My anger had been held back by the Dam of Patience,
yet it's cracking quicker than expected.

A lot of the water has spilled,
but another hit and it'll all come rushing down.

I'm so sensitive and over protective,
the worst of me takes over at times.

It's a real bitch at times,
to the point I wish I'd have better control of myself.

Like how the overwhelming sadness,
lets these drops of water fall down at such inconvenient moments.

Sometimes I let my low confidence take over,
the dam looks so fucked on the mirror.

But god forbid I let be disappointed,
for instead of that upset feeling coming to calm the waves,
a raging storm takes over.

So many inconveniences from such a small,
preventable mistake.

It's actual bullshit how this was even allowed to happen,
and only I knew how easy it was to avoid.

Sadly,
I seem to forget that what shouldn't be done,
had to be stated as so.

I had just told myself the dam had been repaired,
but unfortunately, it was not.

It had only been put to repair,
on halt,
since I trusted the damned thing.

And so,
the dam betrays my trust.

It cracks,
cement block and wired iron bars falling,
not before the water raging down.

I punch a wall,
hurting myself more than the trust of my dam hurts me.

I frown until my head awakes a migraine—
it can't take all the other possibilities going through my head,
all the thoughts rush over with the water,
the current being too strong.

My head feels light,
so I hit myself to regain composure but it only makes it worse.

Cursing my naive trust,
trying to control myself as I'm just being a little bitch over something so small—

Alas,
I'm impressed on how long the Dam of Patience has lasted.

Because underneath all the water being spilled over,
there's still half the dam.

I can repair it,
till the next time the storm passes by,
and fucks shit over again.