𝗣𝗼𝗲𝘁 𝗠𝗲 𝗔 𝗣𝗼𝗲𝗺

A letter to my future ex boyfriend

You are a figment of my worst fears,
a torture of my own creation.

For you are a man that has grown tired of staring into these same old eyes of mine,
a man bored of the same old stories from my boring old youth,
and a man annoyed by a singing alarm that is now my voice.

You are the boyfriend that has given up,
for I never grew stronger,
and dealing with my tears was ever so tiresome.

You've grown quite bothered by the repetitiveness of my routine,
as it never changes,
and you're stuck doing nothing but conformity.

You're tired,
and you wish time would somehow go faster with me;
maybe it'll kill me sooner.

Yes, for each text is dreaded,
and each call is a drag of it's own.

Tell me, when did you fall out of love?
Was it when you realized you were stuck with me if you were to marry me?
I bet it was when you awoke to my night terrors screaming bloody murder,
awakening your calm sleep for what seems the millionth time.

You'll soon realize it was due to my own low self esteem,
the lack of confidence I developed,
losing that head high I use to carry when we first met.

I have lost my attractiveness,
the outstanding bravery,
and beautiful mind that spoke for itself.

Tell me... was it the distance?

Was it another girl you preferred?

Or did you realize you could do better?

Dear future ex boyfriend,
you do not exist.

You are a creation of a future that no longer exists,
for before this,
I had written an essay of the reasons we were probably not together anymore.

That essay is gone,
deleted from existence,
and forgotten all too well.

In a future that will never happen,
you do not exist anymore.

You will never grow bored,
tired,
bothered,
annoyed,
or fall out of love.

Because a future in which my mind is filled with fear and doubt,
no longer exists.