If Only You Knew (One Direction adoption)

22

*Harry's POV*

For a couple days now we've been able to tell there was something wrong with Spencer, but none of us wanted to push her right now. I was almost relieved when she woke me up to have a movie day.

I was honestly even more excited for her when she asked if Sean could come over since he normally brings out the best in her. We were all excited until we heard them screaming back and forth.

For a minute there was a pause in there fighting for us to heard her scream, "You don't think I don't feel like shit that I told everyone I was pregnant to go to my appointment to see the baby to find out there was nothing? I would've loved to show something the love I never felt as a child but life doesn't work that way Sean! I'm not fit to be a parent and that's why I'm relieved. I'm not bringing something into this world if I'm not fit enough to take care of them!"

We all paused not knowing what to do. Pain struck us all.

"Lou, you made that appointment for her right?" Zayn asked.

"I got her in as early as I could. I'm going to finish dinner." He quickly left the room, almost running to the kitchen.

I went to go set up the table and all the yelling stopped. I heard someone coming down the stairs and I see Sean. He apologized and walked out the door.

Louis started to bring the food to the table and Liam yelled up the stairs letting Spencer know dinner was ready. We knew better than to think she would come down on her own so Niall went to go grab her.

"Guys let's please make this as comfortable as we can for her. We don't want her closing herself off again." We all nodded at Louis and sat at the table.

*Spencer's POV*

I crawled into bed not listening to the guys calling me from downstairs.

"Spencer? Can I come in?" Niall called from the other side of my door.

"Even if I said no it wouldn't stop you," I hissed, feeling guilty right after.

"You're not wrong there, princess," he smiled, walking in and sitting at the foot of my bed. "We heard everything, Spencer. I'm sure you don't really want to talk about it but if you do we're all here for you. We love you okay, but can i ask you a question? It's okay if you don't want to answer or give me something simple" I nodded not having the energy to answer him. "Do you regret it?"

"Not at all."

"Alright. That's all i needed to know. Common let's go get some dinner." He smiled slightly at me trying to bring the mood up.

"I'm not hungry anymore, Ni."

"That's too bad cause you're still coming down cause there's the good mac and cheese waiting for you." He said picking me up from under my covers. "Even if you only eat a little bit. Something is better than nothing." I sighed resting my head on his chest as we made our way downstairs.

All the guys were already at the table. Niall sat me in my chair and pushed a small bowl of mac and cheese towards me. I take a couple bites but mainly just push the rest around the bowl. I sit there until the awkward silence becomes too much. I excuse myself and put my leftovers into the garbage. I head back up the stairs and wrap myself up in my blankets again.

I lay there and just watch the sun set, not bothering to turn on a light.

"Alright, we're not doing this. Get up and put some shoes on we're going out," Harry said walking into my room, making me jump.

"Harry please go away I'm not in the mood." I pull the blanket tighter and turn away from him.

"Fine if you won't get up then move over and make some room cause I'm not leaving without you." I shuffled over giving him room to lay down. He sighed and sat down next to me. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked rubbing small circles into my back.

"What's there to talk about? You guys heard everything."

"Well how do you feel about everything? What are your emotions this very moment?"

"Annoyed that you wouldn't leave me be, hurt, upset that I just fucked our relationship up. The worst part is that I'm not surprised I did either. I'm surprised he stuck with me this long. Everyone leaves at some point and this one just hurts the most." I wipe my tears off and feel Harry adjust himself to lay down.

"Spencer look at me please." I turn around and look at him. "You guys just had a rough fight is all. He cares about you and wants what's best for you. These walls of yours need to come down some more. Don't get me wrong, you've improved so much since you first moved here but there's still so much of you we haven't seen yet. Give him some time before you go and talk to him. Show him that you're trying to better yourself. I know Lou made that appointment for you but you'll have to ask him when it is. But Princess, just remember all of us are here for you no matter what. You're stuck with us for the rest of our lives." He wrapped me in a hug and I nuzzled my hair into the crook of his neck. "No more crying tonight okay? Do you want me to go still?" I nodded and moved myself from on top of him. He kissed the top of my head and walked out of my room quietly closing my door.

I took my iPod and sent Sean a text telling him I was sorry and shut it off for the night.

I laid there for hours not doing anything, rarely blinking. I couldn't sleep but I heard the guys shuffling up the stairs so I shut my eyes just in case they came to check on me. The door never opened but I stayed there trying to convince my body to let me rest.