Bahira Malik has had a wild year.
From falling in love with her father's boss to completely breaking his heart in two. With all said and done, she decided to better her life. Now being a freshman in college, she's trying to be the best version of h...
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Guess we were ships in the night, night, night. ________________________
Bahira's POV
I can tell you how I ended up here, sitting on the hotel windowsill as small snowflakes decorated the glass in front of me. I can tell you how I ended up with a small blanket around my legs as they're pulled up to my chest, my cheek resting against them. I can tell you how warm not only the room is, but how I feel inside.
But at the same time, I can't. You'd think I'm crazy.
Instead of feeling pride I feel almost regret. Instead of feeling as though I made progress, it feels more like I regressed. I shouldn't feel so happy being here, I really shouldn't. Though I can't help it, I desperately want to change that and at the same time I don't.
I let out a frustrated sigh as I watch the blizzard take place outside. The lights start to flicker a bit, my heart picks up its pace a bit. Nothing too drastic, but it's enough for me to snap back to this very moment. My eyes travel to Liam's sleeping figure in our shared bed. It's all they had and even though we both offered to sleep on the couch, the bed was big enough for a border of pillows to keep us separated.
How did we get here?
Well, after our amazing night in Southend we decided to start heading back. Night had already fell and by the looks of the snow rapidly floating down, we needed to hurry. Though, we weren't fast enough and Liam made the adult decision to not drive in such a condition.
At first I was a bit excited.
I didn't want to go home, I didn't want this amazing day with him to end. I wanted to keep getting to know this new Liam and just be around him. Of course not in the same hotel room nor bed, but that just made us feel strangely more comfortable.
He had just fallen asleep honestly, we've been up for the past four hours. The neon green, bright alarm clock reads 4:38 am and I through my hair up into a ponytail. We talked about many things, things that i'm sure I won't remember. Most of what was said was due to our delirious state of mind. We—he— had been exhausted since we comfortably settled in the bed.
If I'm allowed to be completely honest, I haven't felt this comfortable in a while. I haven't laughed with tears streaming down my face in a few months. Never in my life did I think that Liam could be capable of doing this to me. I'm astonished.
Which is why I'm watching the snow fall at 4:38 am.
Tonight I felt something. I felt whole again, I felt myself feeling warm and fuzzy. I know what this is, I know what's happening. And to be completely transparent about this, I'm scared.
I'm scared that once I fall asleep and when the morning sun wakes me up, will I wake up feeling more?
What if this "new" Liam is too good to be true? This could be one big facade for all I know. I so desperately want to ask him; I need to know so that if it is, I can walk away with my mind, my feelings, somewhat still intact.
Please just tell me this is all just on my mind, that it's just the late hour blues painting my mind. I don't want to fall for him again. I can't, I worked too hard to fall for this again.
What would my family think? Karla? Delilah?
And just the mere thought of them is enough for tears to dance freely down my cheeks.
There's no telling what they'd say, let alone do, if they found out what happened tonight. I can already see the disappointed gazes. The back rubs filled with pity, it already churns my stomach. Then, the look of almost death like sorrow when I tell them.
When I tell them that I'm falling again.
The choruses of "Are you dumb Bahira?", will sound off like a ticking time bomb. Reminders of my progress will be thrown in my face as I feel myself drowning, not even trying to bother swimming up to the surface. I'd give up before I can even defend myself.
I can tell you how much it burns. I can tell you how this day meant the world to me. I can tell you how these small flutters are indeed a sign of a crush. I can tell you how scared I am.
I can't tell you how much I want to love him again. I can't tel you how much at the very least, all I want to do is be his best friend.
Though how can I? How do I know this Liam really is who he's presenting himself to be. How do I know if my friends and family will still accept me? Is the price of my happiness worth the approval from everyone? Is it worth getting scorned all over again?
How Could I Know?
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A short and sweet update that was triggered by my favorite song "Sweet Night" by V. This song really set the mood for this chapter☁️
The next update will be longer and will have more plot to it, I just really wanted to put this out for you all during this difficult time.
PLEASE for the love of god, STAY HOME IF YOURE ABLE TO. I really want you all to be safe and healthy during this epidemic. I was sick last week (thankfully tested negative) but I know not other aren't as lucky.
