Bahira Malik has had a wild year.
From falling in love with her father's boss to completely breaking his heart in two. With all said and done, she decided to better her life. Now being a freshman in college, she's trying to be the best version of h...
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I promise I won't run so tell me, who are you in the dark? ___________________________ Bahira's POV
It's been a few days since I last saw Liam. They were average days, full of laughs and great times with Karla. We so far have spent most of our holiday decorating her home, watching movies and shopping to our hearts content. To most people, this isn't exciting. This is stuff that some would do on their regular weekend. But I'm learning to appreciate the little things, and I'm especially learning to appreciate who I have in my life. So as normal as they seem, they've been absolutely magical to me. Though often enough, I get smacked in the face with reality. As most people do I get lonely and as of recently very, very anxious.
Today is one of those days.
Karla went out to do some grocery shopping, leaving me alone in her flat. Normally, I would be looking for distractions to keep my mind busy. I would refuse to let any ounce of negativity or anxiety ruin my day. Not today, today I lost the battle the moment I woke up. It started with a nightmare, which was more like a series of flashbacks. From the day I harmed myself in the company bathroom, to almost losing Harry because of my naive actions and finally ending the traumatic marathon with the most recent events. So I woke up already ridden with anxiety.
I stumbled into the living room in my sleepy haze, desperately looking for Karla. The little in me, becoming more and more prominent as the memories began to flood my mind. I finally made my way back to my bedroom and fumbled with my phone. There were texts from Karla letting me know that she was going to run a few errands and that she'll be back some time later today. I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed, my eyes began to sting with tears, and I couldn't help but chew on my bottom lip.
I feel so helpless.
Now please don't get me wrong. I know Karla is a human, I know she's young and I know she has no obligation to take care of me. But without her during times like this, I feel so exposed. I feel like a helpless child not knowing where they are or what to do. It makes me desperately seek for any kind of distraction, because I know how I am when I get like this. I get very impulsive, I just go without thinking about what it is I'm doing. Almost as if I were on a drug. Act now and worry about the consequences later, just so in this moment I could feel better.
There was nothing I could do in order to shake these feelings. Usually I would clean the flat, but it was already spotless. Working out often helped, but today I just can't bring myself to do it. So instead, I decide to curl up on the couch and mindlessly watch old cartoons. Today felt like a Hey Arnold! kind of day and with that being settled, I began to wait for Karla to return home.
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I was woken up by my phone vibrating the couch pillow. I slowly opened my eyes and sit up carefully not wanting to make myself dizzy. I stare at the tv mindlessly as credits rolled through the screen before looking down at my phone. The first thing I noticed was the time, it was about 2 in the afternoon and I had a few messages. Some where from Karla:
