WASTE • Carl Grimes

Twenty

Carl's arm was draped over my waist when I woke up. His hot breath hitting my neck as he snores lightly behind me. I smile to myself and open my eyes once more.

Wait.

Oh my god.

Holy shit.

I kissed Carl.

No, I MADE OUT with Carl last night.

Oh my god.

Realization dawns on me all of a sudden and goosebumps start to rise. I slowly push his arm off me, careful not to wake him up as I attempt to leave his room as soon as possible. Shock and confusion taking over my body.

I opened his door as quietly as I could and left with my eyes wide and heart beating out of my chest.

What the fuck did I do?

A million questions play in my head as I head to my bed and grab some clothes and a towel before heading to the bathroom, gulping as flash backs from last night continue to replay in my head.

The way he kissed me. The way he bit my lip and kissed my neck.

Oh my god.

His fingers tracing my ski-

Shut the fuck up, Luna. Shut up.

I need to get out of here.

•••••

I've been out in the woods for almost an hour now.

I needed to remind myself where I came from.

I needed to remind myself of where I belong.

I knew staying there was a bad fucking idea. Now look at me, thinking with my vagina rather than with my mind.

It felt good. It felt so good but I can't let that destroy all that I've built. The walls I built around myself are slowly breaking down around that boy.

What happened last night just proved to me that I'm trusting them way more than I should.

Your walls stay up at all times, Luna. At all fucking times.

" fuck! " I curse out load as I chuck my knife into a tree, anger rising within me as I beg the thoughts to go away, but as usual, they stay.

I walk towards the tree and retrieve my knife before making my way towards two walkers I had seen stumbling towards me.

They groan while they approach me. Rotten flesh dangling off their bodies as they moan at me, eager to get a taste.

I notice a few more walking behind them and I take it as a chance to take all my anger out by pushing my knife into the skulls.

•••••

I haven't seen Carl since I woke up.

He could be avoiding me like I am avoiding him right now.

Good, let it slide.

But I couldn't.

As much as I tried to let it slide and forget about it, I couldn't.

I lay down on my bed, thinking about the one eyed boy's lips on my own and how gentle he was while touching me.

The goosebumps I felt and the warmth that ran through my body once I felt his heart beating against my palm. It was one of the best feelings I had ever felt.

As much as I try not to think about that boy, I can't. It's so hard when all my mind wants to think about is him.

I'm about to shut my eyes and go to bed when I hear a knock on my door; a soft one.

It's probably Michonne or Rick.

" come i- " I stop myself when I remember that I had locked my door earlier.

Great, you're a dumbass.

With a roll of my eyes, I get up and walk towards the plain white wooden door, unlocking it in a single swift move and pushing the door open.

Only to be met with a sparkling brown eye and a very very emotionless face.

I stare back at him, lips slightly parted as I wait for him to speak, but all he does is stare me down and I wish I could at least tell what he's feeling, but he had not a single emotion displayed on his face.

For the first time ever since I met Carl, I found it extremely difficult to read his thoughts.

My heart drops as I keep my eyes on him, still not understanding why he had knocked on my door and still hasn't said a single word to me.

" are you just go- " he cuts me off with his lips, again.

And dare I say it, I let out a sigh of relief as another wave of warmth runs thought my body. Just like yesterday. As if I had been waiting for him to kiss me again.

No. No, pull away this is wrong.

This time I listen to myself and pull away gently, my eyes on Carl's as he stares down at me with his lips slightly parted.

" Carl- " I start but he cuts me off again.

" sorry, I wasn't thinking " He apologizes but I quickly shake my head.

" no, I started it first. I'm sorry "

He's about to say something back, but my eyes caught his once more, and we stare at one another again, falling into another trance.

" car- "

" can I? " he quickly cuts me off and I nod so fast I thought my neck was going to break.

Without a second thought, I jump on him and I'm suddenly in his arms with my legs hung over his waist.

His hands grip my waist as he walks into my room, our lips connected while he shuts the door behind him using his foot before laying me down on my bed.

Good job, Luna! You're a fucking dumbass.

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-L