WASTE • Carl Grimes

Eighteen

Their community is huge.

I have never seen this amount of people in one place.

None of them are dead. They're all alive.

Carl and I talked for a while, caught up and apologized to one another over a hundred times till we were sick of it.

I left out the details of the nights where I'd sit and think of him, missing him.

He didn't tell me how he felt either, he only talked about the things his community did and discovered.

" that's our house over there " Carl's voice echoes through my ears, pulling me away from my thoughts as he points to a big grey house residing between two other identical houses.

His community, " Alexandria ", is full of similar looking homes, families, children, smiles, and love. It's like there aren't any dead people banging on the walls protecting the place.

It's as if the apocalypse had never happened.

Carl's eye studies me carefully, watching me as I look around me, admiring the community that I had never imagined I'd set foot in.

I'm not staying.

I remind myself.

" I'm not staying. You know that, " I start, turning around and staring him dead in the eye.

Carl is much taller than me now that it's so much more intimidating when we're staring each other down.

" right? " I finish my sentence.

My heart skips a beat and butterflies erupt in my stomach when his eye is focused on my own pair. His eyebrows slightly knitted together as he looks down at me.

What was that? What the hell was that oh my god. Am I on my period? Shit.

I gulp and try my hardest to look away from his strong as shit gaze, but I couldn't.

I catch an emotion swim in the ball of his eye, but he blinks it away so quickly I couldn't make it out.

With his eyebrows still knitted together, he folds his arms over his chest and says " we'll see about that " .

I perk my eyebrows up at him and mirror his stance, my own arms folded over my own chest, like him.

" oh, so I need your permission to leave? " I ask and he shakes his head.

" you almost died out there, Luna! It's so much safer in here than it is out there "

" keyword being almost. I didn't die, I'm standing right here in front of you " I point out the obvious.

" you wouldn't if I hadn't saw you  " he says and I roll my eyes.

" but you did, Carl "

" yes! But what if I di- "

I cut him off by placing my hand on his cheek, my eyes softening with his.

" Carl, I'll be alright " I try to convince him, but he shakes his head again.

" what the hell are you so afraid of? " he asks.

" what? " I ask in confusion.

" why are you so scared of staying here? "

" I'm not " I lie, but he sees through me and perks an eyebrow up at me.

" whatever it is, I promise you, it's not as scary as you might think it would be. Think about it Luna, you'd be surrounded by people, walls around you at all times protecting you from whatever the hell it is you're running from, and me, I'll be here "

I gulp, slowly feeling myself give in when he puts it that way.

" nothing is permanent " I whisper.

" this is " he tries and i Shake my head.

" you don't know tha- "

Carl cuts me off.

" do you trust me? " he questions, face softer than ever and eyes sparkling as they stare into my own, searching for an answer.

Without any hesitation I catch myself saying " yes " to which he smiles.

" then trust me on this one. Think about it and tell me what you want at the end of the day. Okay? "

I'm about to answer, but we're cut off when a group of people walk toward us, a few confused and others smiling once they're standing in front of us.

I furrow my eyebrows together and analyze them, confusion taking over as I quickly start building my walls back up again.

" you must be Luna " a woman of color says as she offers me a warm and welcoming smile, extending her hand out for me to shake.

I look down at her hand and then back at Carl for reassurance, to which he nods and smiles at me.

It was enough for me to look back at the woman and shake her hand ever so lightly before quickly pulling away.

" I'm Michonne " she introduces herself and the other men and woman standing behind her.

She introduced me to Rick, Carl's father, Glenn and his wife Maggie, and a ginger called Ibrahim.

That Ibrahim man tries so hard to look intimidating and I couldn't help but smile to myself at the thought.

Carl and I are forced to walk with them and into Carl's house where a meeting is held.

I didn't focus on what they were saying, in fact, I have no idea what the hell they were talking about, I only went because Carl pulled me away with him.

I sat beside Carl, feeling his eye burning holes into my shoulder as he watches me zone out every now and then, my mind in a different dimension.

••••

The meeting is over we all leave, Carl and I walking side by side as everyone else leaves back to their home in silence.

" I'll stay " I suddenly blurt out and face Carl.

He looks down at me and gives me a side smile, as if he had already known that I would eventually give in and stay with him.

" don't look all smug and shit, I made up my own mind " I roll my eyes and he giggles.

" yeah, you did " he playfully replies.

" where am I staying? In that room I woke up in? " I ask and he shakes his head, his smile growing even more by the second.

" with me "

" in your house? " I ask with an eyebrow perked up and he nods at me before walking back into his house, his back to me as I follow like a lost puppy.

" you do have an extra room up there right? "

" yes, dumbass. Come on, let me show you around " he takes my hand in his own and drags me upstairs with him.

I hope I'm doing the right thing by staying here.

Because I swear to fuck if it backfires and this entire place burns down, I will kill myself.