WASTE • Carl Grimes

Fourteen

1WEEK LATER...

" shit " I huff under my breath when I accidentally trip over my own feet, trying to gain back my balance so that I wouldn't fall, to which I successfully maintain.

I take a deep breath in and hold the gun in place once again, gulping as I aim at a walker from the roof of the house I'm standing on and shoot it in the head, smiling to myself when I manage to maintain my balance.

I reload one more and shoot a bunch more, heart leaping in excitement at how good I have become at firing a gun, no longer finding it hard to use one.

The only good thing that came out of taking him in.

Shut up, head.

I roll my eyes and walk back into the house, sighing as I plop down on a couch and finish the can of food I had opened a few hours ago, slowly eating my food.

It's been about a week, I think. I cant even keep up with the days anymore.

No matter how long it's been since he left, I can't help but notice the difference. The silence, the loneliness, and the lack of company is driving me crazy. I thought I wanted to be on my own again, I thought I was going to be okay, but I got a taste of something and now I wanted more.

It feels as if I'm lost in the woods, surrounded by trees and loneliness.

He's with his family now, happy, probably already forgotten all about me, just like I should have the moment he walked out that door.

But forgetting someone like that isn't exactly easy.

With a sigh of my own, I get up and pack my things, exiting the lifeless house with my gun in my hand, knife in my pocket.

What the hell happened to me?

•••

Carl's p.o.v

I stare at the blank ceiling of my bedroom, smiling to myself once I remember that I am finally home, no longer out there in the woods without my family.

I don't miss not having everyone around, but I miss her.

No, you don't.

Although I'm back with everyone else, I feel like it's missing something, and it's her. I did want her to come with me because I knew that it wouldn't feel good without her.

I didn't know I cared for her as much as I do, but I can't shake it off.

Just like I had said to her the night I left, she was the closest thing to a best friend that I've ever had, and now I lost her.

She was there for me when Enid died, and without her, I don't think I would've recovered as fast as I have.

I turn over on my bed, sighing, only to see Judith standing at my door, a gentle smile adorning her lips as she watches me smile back at her.

" hey! are you spying on me? " I jokingly narrow my eye at her and she giggles, causing me to laugh before sitting up on my bed. Judith runs towards me and jumps into my arms, begging me to carry her, to which I could never say no.

I take Judith and walk downstairs and out of the house, the familiar Alexandrian air blowing against my hair.

" want me to cut your hair? " a familiar voice suddenly speaks beside me and I turn around, facing the source with a smile.

" never cut your hair "

" I'm good " I chuckle at Maggie who rolls her eyes at me, she places her hands on her waist and watches the children ahead of us play with one another, their laughter bouncing off the metal walls of Alexandria and into my ear drums.

She would've liked this.

" im glad your back " Maggie speaks up again and I turn to face her, nodding in acknowledgment at the pregnant woman.

" so am I " I simply reply before turning away once more.

" I wish she was here " she says, voice low as she remembers Enid, whom she was like a mother figure to.

I sigh at the memory, watching everything unfold once more in my head as if it doesn't every single day. I see her being shot, I see them laughing, and then I Luna walking away.

I see Luna coming out to check on me, I see Luna whenever I look down at my hand that is no longer stitched up, I see Luna when I use one of the bandages she has gotten for me.

I see Luna everywhere.

" have you seen my dad around? " I ask Maggie and she nods.

" yeah, at the gates " she replies with her thick southern accent that everyone adored.

She takes Judith away from me and smiles, to which I mutter a thank you and leave, searching for my father to see what everyone's up to, and to try and find something else to think about.