Apathetic |[D.S]| 1

18. why

Give it to me like you need it, baby
Want you to hear me screaming, heavy breathing
I don't need a reason baby
I wanna take and find
I can give it to you right babe oh
...

Lou's POV

It's finally Saturday. Peace free and standing beside the bleachers waiting for my mom to finish tying her skates. I'm glad I'm back at the rink. I'm hoping ice skating again will help calm me from the past flow of overwhelming thoughts about Thursday night.

I watch as my mom ties her left skate and looks up and me giving me a nod to go on ahead. With given her approval I make my way onto the ice and within the first step, I'm already skating.

It's about eight in the morning and no one is here other than my mom and me. The cold breeze when I skate is reassuring. Nothing is more reassuring than the ice. It's calming to me in a way others don't understand.

I think glowing carelessly on my own in a rink is beautiful. I want to stretch for my spirals and see if I still have my needle on ice.

I use the side of the rink and hold on to the wall while extending my leg up high. My AirPods are in my ears and are blasting "Girls need Love" by Summer Walker and Drake. I let the song take me away and let my body flow with the beat.

I gain back my lost skills within a matter of minutes and my mom was right. I want to continue skating. I wanna skate really well but I need to get back on my game. I wonder if I could contact any of my old coaches? Or maybe I'm moving this too fast I need more time to think...

Yet thinking reminds me of Daniel.

That's all I've been doing for the past hours. That kiss. What the hell was it about and why...why did I like it?

Just the way it felt. The way I could feel his tongue ring. The metal cold temperature of it completely turned me on in a way-

Oh my god imagine if it was somewhere else. His tongue lapping around my-

Okay don't know where that came from but I really need to stop. I wanna ask him. Just to know what it was about...definitely not because I want him to do it again...course I wouldn't want that I mean...

Yes, I would.

It was...exhilarating and exciting. Feeling his lips move on mine. That reminds me of my competition on ice when I was fifteen. I nailed everything that night. Perfect jumps, spins, turns. It was magical. Almost too magical. 2016 was a great year for my skating.

After finishing ice skating with my mom, she drops me back off at 501 Estates. My dad wants to call me tomorrow to hear about my first week. When I make it up the elevator and open the door to my place. I can hear a movie and for some odd reason I think it's Kayla but I should've known better.

There he is...again. Sitting in the exact same spot that he was sitting in while making dinner when I got back on Wednesday. We make a sudden eye contact but I look away before he does.

This is awkward.

I head towards my room and when I close the door behind me I let out a huge sigh. He's watching movies at my place. Again. I roll my eyes as I grab a change of clothes and head into the bathroom to change.