Finding Ms. Right

Chapter 66: Wishes, Promises and Memories

Not unless, you break your promise. Because he will never forgive you after that.

"Bakit kasi nagpipigil ka pa eh. Halata namang gusto mo silang lapitan." Napatingin ako kay Lucy dahil sa sinabi niya. This time, she's not looking on her phone. She was looking at me with a smile on her face.

Natawa na lang ako ng bahagya bago tinignan ang mga puno sa harapan ng tent namin. "I can't."

"Why not? Jana, patawarin mo na kaya sila? Kanina sa game, Jay and I had a little talk. And he told me kung bakit ka nila iniwasan." Because of what she said, napatingin ako ulit sa kanya. Marahil nag-usap sila after ko silang nakita doon sa game kanina.

"B-bakit?"

"It's because, they don't want to hurt you." Kumunot lang ang noo ko sa sinabi niya. Ayaw nila akong masaktan? "They know about your past with Zild. Alam nila ang history niyong dalawa at ang nangyari noong mga bata pa lang kayo. Zild told them about that. And guess what?"

"What?"

"Zild doesn't really hates you. Nalungkot lang daw siya ng sobra dahil sa nangyari noon because you are his first and last girl best friend. At ikaw lang ang pinangakuan niya noon. But your sudden disappearance in that province triggered all of the hatred he kept for hisself. Dahil sa pagkawala mo, mas lalo siyang naging malupit at cold sa mga tao. And sila Darren? Iniwasan ka nila dahil natatakot silang baka masisi ka nila sa mga hirap na pinagdaanan ni Zild with the fact na wala ka naman talagang kasalanan. They avoided you because they are afraid that they might say something offensive that can hurt your feelings." Sandali akong natahimik sa sinabi ni Lucy. I knew it. Tama akong iyon nga ang tinutukoy niya ng magkita kami sa daycare center.

"The moment they started avoiding me, they already started hurting me. I can take all the blame, Lucy. I can endure every single hurtful words from them. Pero iyong iwasan nila ako without even asking me, or knowing everything first is such a painful thing to deal with." Sambit ko at natahimik siya. Binalik ko ang tingin ko sa kawalan at bumuntong-hininga. "I didn't like to have an amnesia. Kahit kailan ay hindi ko iyon ginusto. Tell me, is it my fault that I got bumped by a truck and forgot everything? I never wanted that. Dahil kung oo, sa tingin ba nila, babalik pa ako dito at magpapakita sa kanila? Their reason might be acceptable but it's not enough."

"Jana..."

"And besides, he's not the only one who suffered. Because for almost all of my life, I forgot the memories that are worth it to remember. Maging ako, nagdusa din sa lupit ng tadhana."

Tuluyan ng natahimik si Lucy sa sinabi ko. Tumalikod naman ako sandali sa kanya at hinawi ang isang butil ng luha na tumulo.

Shit. I don't wanna cry again.

---

Madilim na ang paligid dahil gabi na. Lahat kami ay nakaupo sa damuhan ng pabilog habang may bonfire sa gitna. We still don't know the activity for tonight but I am hoping that this will end fast. Para kasing pagod na ang katawan ko at gusto ko ng magpahinga.

"Inaantok na ba kayo?" Ang ilan sa amin ay umiling samantalang ang iba ay tumango katulad ko ng magtanong si Sir Dela Vega. It's already seven in the evening. Maaga pa ng kaunti pero marami na ding inaantok sa amin. But most of us are still wide awake and energetic.

"Don't sleep yet, may last activity pa tayo sa araw na ito. This is just a simple activity. Well, it's more like a game, a simple game. This is called, 'Fold your finger.'" Sabi naman ni Sir Valle. Then, they explained what we'll do. Like what they said, the game is just simple. We will just need to raise our right hand and they will say something. Kung ang sinabi nila ay meron sa amin or isa sa mga personalities namin, kailangan naming mag-fold ng isang finger. When we already folded our five fingers, kailangan naming tumayo and they will make us do something. Kung ano 'yon, hindi namin alam.