Free Heart

Ch 94 - I am Suffering

"Oy, you shitty mosshead. Where's Robin-chan?"

Zoro lifted his head to glare at Sanji from his seated position. The swordsman sat in front of the mast, facing it with his knees crossed and his arms folded across his chest but in no way was the swordsman relaxed. "Why do you keep asking that?" he growled, "Are you a broken record or something? I haven't seen her since she left to go shopping with — Oh. Chopper, you're here. Do you know where Robin is?"

"No!" Chopper wailed, "I lost her when I went into the bookstore and then I found Sanji when I was looking for her around the city. We thought she had come back here."

"Whatever," Zoro grumbled, "She's probably off doing...womanly things. We have something more important to deal with."

Sanji took offense to the swordsman's attitude. "What?! Nothing can be more important than the safety and well-being of R-"

"A shipwright came and he gave an assessment on Merry," Zoro said curtly, "And it's not good."

"What?" Sanji and Chopper cried.

The cook took a step back to compose himself. He cleared his voice before speaking. "Is it going to take a long time to fix? A lot more money than we have?"

Zoro shook his head. "Merry cannot be fixed. Her damage is too great. Something about a broken keel, which is basically the spine of the ship and it holds everything together. He said it was a miracle that we even were able to stay afloat right now, let alone the whole time we've been here."

"Is that true?!" Sanji asked.

"That's what the shipwright said," Zoro said.

"But...this ship can no longer be fixed? Even if we pay lots of money?" Chopper asked, "Then-Then what's going to happen to Merry?!"

"Beats me...in the end, it depends on how Luffy and the others decide after hearing the outcome of the assessment," Zoro said with a shrug which enraged Sanji again.

"Oy! How can you have such a blasé attitude about this? You just said this was an important —"

"I wasn't referring to Merry," Zoro said and then he lifted a hand and banged his fist against his heart. "Do you guys not feel that?"

Sanji and Chopper looked at him like he had gone mad and Zoro scowled. "Forget Robin and even Merry for a second. Clear your mind and tell me that you feel it too!"

Sanji and Chopper shared a look of incredulousness but then they each slowly closed their eyes and tried to do as the swordsman said. Then, after a long beat of silence, they gasped. Down in the pits of their heart was a feeling of deep sorrow. It was a dull ache that was too weak to stand out but it's existence was undeniable.

"What is that?" Chopper asked, tears collecting between the folds of his closed eyes, while Sanji's eyes flew wide open.

"Where's Emmy-chan?" he demanded.

Zoro's lips pressed into a thin line and he wordlessly pointed at the opened hatch door that led down to the men's room. He said nothing as Sanji and Chopper went over to it and poked their head down. He did not warn them for the sight they were about to see because it was too hard for him to even think about much less voice aloud.

There, curled up on the floorboards that Kaku had kindly reattached before he left, was the first mate. Her hair and tears spilled out across the wood and she had a hand flattened against one of the floorboards.

"Feel Feel...Pain Trade...Feel Feel...Pain Trade..." she whispered over and over again in a hollow chant.

"Emmy!" Chopper cried but Emmy didn't react or respond.