All Around Me

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Theo:

"Collin Walsh..." I urgently, almost screaming at her. She smiles, typing into her computer.

"What was the name?" she asks politely.

"COLLIN FUCKING WALSH.." I scream, feeling the tears on my face.

"He's in surgery, the waiting area is the second floor on the right." She points to the stairs but I'm already gone. Hopping up, one, two, three. I run to find a glass wall, crashing through the door. I see Aidan, pacing. His dad sitting in a chair, fiddling with a pager in his hand.

"Theo.." Aidan runs to me, practically catching me, he squeezes me tight, so tight I almost can't breathe. 

I remember sitting on the couch, Shea next to me, her hand on my back. 

"I can't lose him Shea, I can't. I opened up to him, someone good, finally. He knows everything. The haunting of my past, I let him in..I can't lose him." My knees to my chest. Staring blankly across the room. 

I see it...the room, bright lights. Doctors working, sweat building on their faces. Yelling and screaming...

"I need laps...more laps. Hold pressure here. Where is all the bleeding coming from? Clamp. Hang more blood, O neg now..clamp..retractor..no, fuck...right here. Faster. Pulse thready...blood pressure 60/40..blood, I need the fucking blood now." 

"HE'S CRASHING!!" 

I see him, running as fast as he can down a dark hallway, the light at the end. 

"Mr. Walsh.." A voice says, filling the room. 

"Hi, I'm Dr. Almont." He holds out his hand to shake. His blue gown over his body, shoe covers still on, head cover on. He looks sweaty, beaten...defeated. There's speckles of blood on his clothes. Collin's....

"Can we sit?" Oh no, this isn't good, I know it isn't good. I feel my heart drop, this is it. I finally let myself open up, I let him in and he's gone. He's fucking gone.

"The damage was extensive.." his voice stern but soft. The pain in my chest rises, I can't breathe. Aidan and his dad both grab my hands instinctively, squeezing.

"He has damage to his right side, he lost a lot of blood." No, please no. Whatever god there is, please no..I can't do this.

"He didn't make it.." the words echo. 

~~~~~~~~

I wake up in a cold sweat, sitting up. My breathing quick and short. It's always like this now. The way the doctor walked in. Except the ending is different. Collin doesn't make it, they don't save him and he's gone. 

I wipe the sweat off my face and get up to the bathroom, splashing some cold water on my face. 

"Where are we?" I sit with Ben on the couch. 

"Miami" He says, stuffing his face with a bagel. He slides me a coffee. 

"You know me too well." I head off the bus, the sun hits me. I breathe in the warm air. Smells of salt and sea. I look around, there's some shops not to far from here. 

"Wanna go walk around?" Derek and Shea come up to me.

"Sure. Let me change." I run back up, throwing on high waisted shorts and a Grayscale crop tee. Why not buy your boyfriends merch? I laugh to myself. We catch a cab into town and walk around. I find a tattoo parlor. Maybe I should get another one? I have a quote on my left wrist, I got it after my dad died. I've always wanted a sleeve. 

"Hey guys!" I hear a voice behind me. Jeremy, from ADTR. We hug. 

"Good to see you!" He says. I've always been a fan and now we're on tour with them? My life is wild. 

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