Walk me through the dark

2

Spencer woke up in a daze, his neck had a slight kink in it due to him being slumped over on his bathroom floor. He stood up on wobbly legs and gathered up the mess he made. He put the syringe and vial back in their hiding spot, straightened up the sink, then left the room. He stopped at the floorboard three spaces from his bed, and knelt down. Slowly lifting up the wood he pulled out a small bag from underneath, letting the wood snap back into place, which made his ears ring. He shouldn't have done that, but the effects of the drugs were still lingering in his system and instead of going into one of his usual fidgeting responses, he just shook his head before opening the bag. He counted the vials that clinked together, he had enough to last into the next week if he paced them out more, but he should be getting more soon. He put the bag back under the floorboard, moving the leg of his arm chair so it covered it.

He walked over to his dresser, his body still hanging onto that floaty feeling and it made his hands need to reach for his drawer twice before being able to open it. He peeled off his work clothes, settling on a pair of pajamas that matched, and the texture was soft and worn down. He went over to his side table, grabbing his glasses before returning to the bathroom. 

Spencer removed his contacts, and shoved the glasses onto his nose. It was then he noticed his mouth was dry so he shuffled out toward his kitchen. While getting a glass of water, his eyes landed on the clock and he almost choked on the sip he was taking. He had been passed out for almost four hours. He finished the water, placing the cup in the sink and headed to bed. Once under his blankets it was then he noticed his phone kept lighting up. He had several missed calls from his team. 

Oh god did they have another case?

Spencer sat up, dragging his hand down his face as the other opened the phone and called Morgan.

"Hey kid!" Morgan answered on the second ring, "we all went out for drinks, where are you at? Why didn't you pick up your phone?" Spencer could hear the loudness of the bar Morgan was at, glancing at his other missed texts Spencer assumed it was Morgan, and all the girls.

"Sorry" Spencer cleared his throat, "not tonight"

"You ok kid?" Morgans surrounding got quieter, meaning he either left the bar or went into the bathroom. "We were honestly getting a little worried when you didn't answer your phone"

"Well I was busy" Spencer snapped, anger suddenly filling his chest, "I have a life outside of work you know!" Spencer spit out the last words, his hand clenching around his phone.

"Whoa, kid sorry"

"Stop calling me kid!" Spencer growled, before hanging up. Suddenly fully awake and enraged Spencer stood up from his bed, pacing around his room. Why do they always have to treat him like a child? He's not a kid, he's a fully capable adult, who has a life.

"No you don't" Tobias's dry chuckle stopped Reid in his tracks. The anxiety pricked up his back and into his chest once again.

"Leave me alone!" He shrieks, flinging the first thing he grabbed in the direction of Tobais's voice, the pillow hit the wall and landed with a light thud on the floor. Spencer's chest was heaving now, he was overwhelmed, he couldn't pinpoint what he was feeling because he was feeling everything too strongly. He was pissed, but scared, but why was he scared? He was safe in his home. Why was he pissed again? Oh yea his team, but he loved his team. He pushed his palms against the temples of his head. Letting out a frustrated groan. His phone rang, Reid let it go to voicemail.

It rang again, Spencer saw Morgans name and hung up on the man, cutting the ringing short. Spencer went and picked up the pillow he threw, his hands trembling as he tightened his grip on the thing and hugged it tight to his chest. His phone rang again, this time, adding to the growing marching band that was screaming in Spencers head. Too much was happening right now.

His phone rang again.

Spencer threw the pillow onto the bed, scooping up the phone and answering it,

"Morgan fuck off!" He yelled, his voice reaching a level that made him wince but that was quickly pushed away by the rage that pressed against his skin and made him unable to stand still.

"Whoa spence it's me" JJ's voice made Spencer freeze.

"Oh, uh sorry JJ I uh" Spencer stopped talking pinching the bridge of his nose and stomping his foot. Feeling childish but he needed to move and feel.

"Listen, we were getting worried and so I decided to call you, is everything ok?"

"Yea, everythings fine '' Spencer forced a smile even though JJ couldn't see him.

"You sure? Because I can come over, trust me I'd rather be with you than here right now" JJ chuckles. JJ couldn't come over, she couldn't see him like this.

"I'm actually about to go to bed so i'll just see you tomorrow?"

"Oh, ok then yea see you tomorrow, good night spence"

"Goodnight" Spencer quickly hung up, dropping his phone onto his side table and resuming his pacing.

He needed it.

But he just had it.

He needed to get off it.

Just one more time.

He already had it twice today.

But the jackhammering in his chest made the decision for him. He couldn't go to bed like this, he was only taking it so he could sleep. Yes, just so he could sleep so he could be productive at work tomorrow and be a functioning adult.

Spencer was quick to extract the drug from the vial into the syringe, not paying attention to how much he got, instead just sticking himself and not caring how it got into his system, just that it did. He quickly dropped the materials into the sink and stumbled over to his bed, already losing feelings in his legs. His eyes were weighed down but he somehow managed to climb into bed and get under the blankets. He didn't turn his light off though, not that he's been doing much of that lately anyways. His already pre existing fear of the dark amplified after his kidnapping. Luckily Duliduad took that fear away from him.