Miss X (Swasan Fan Fiction) [√]

Chapter 16 :" Regrets "

     

          Laksh Maheshwari starred at his ex fiancee without a word.  He hadn't expected her memory to return any time soon nor feel this confusion with regards to his changed feelings ever since he found out she was  Sanskar's Robin . 

          Because how can he love and hate a same person,he loved Swara but hated Robin for the pain she caused his cousin by abandoning him . Sanskar always had been a fool when it comes to her , that he believed she would understand him skipping their meeting to help someone in need but Robin failed him .

     Laksh had been the one who had seen his cousin go back to his shell and lose his smile ,it was also the reason Laksh father forced him to marry Sakshi because he knew Sanskar was vulnerable and had no longer had reason to fight for his way .

          The news hit the newspaper first and then his dad emotionally blackmailed Sanskar by claiming he raised him and his entire business will fall apart if Sanskar backed off because Ramprasad uncle wouldn't forgive them if his daughter engagement got broken . Even then Laksh argued against his father to stop pressuring his cousin .

 
      His mother spoke up in favour of her nephew as well but at the end Sanskar gave in due to his father continuous pressure . And Laksh had been relieved when Sanskar began to change after their marriage , Sakshi brought him back from Robin and he had been thankful to his sister in law until her death which destroyed everyone and left pain in its wake. 

           Now to realise Robin was the same Swara he fell in love with was an hard discovery ,one which he hadn't fully understood yet . Ragini,his wife and Sanskar ,his cousin both have decided to leave them alone to talk which he was thankful for because he didn't want his cousin or wife to come to Swara defense . 

             His love for Swara stemmed from the fact she was as lost as him when they met ,he was devastated at losing his cousin over to grief and she had lost her parents .He understood grief and she had been his lifeline to get back to the land of living and he thought it had been fate that propelled them to the point of marriage . Yet now he couldn't find the same outlook towards their future .

         " I wasn't in love with you , I liked you Laksh but I wasn't in love with you " he heard the words from her when she broke the silence between them , a fact he knew all along . She had told him often that he was safe place to her and she didn't think she had it in her to love and he believed with time she would come to love him .

           " Then why agree to marry me ,why move to India when you life would be in danger not just yours but Ragini as well " he asked her silently hoping her answers would make him understand her because he was at loss , back then he was too caught up in grief to think it through but now he had to wonder .

              " Because I wanted to catch her or die trying . It bit morbid when you think about it but grief could make you lose your mind and add guilt to it then you become a stranger to even yourself , and most of my decisions were taken when I was at some sort of breakpoint.  

                 I liked you Laksh but i didn't want to marry you , i was just holding on to you as the reason for my actions and conscience . I genuinely convinced myself that I am going to India for you ,I really made myself belief marrying you  was enough of a reason to go back but truthfully I was just finding excuses to return and you were mine , I wanted to come back to find her  " Swara answered back surprising him with the candid nature of her answer and yet it did bring in the reality that she really didn't care about him or love him . 

             " What about Sanskar ,were you using him as well or did you really have a reason to abandon him " Laksh asked back instead ,he could accept her hasty decision in regards to him as grief and guilt but none of it explains her reason to abandon his cousin .