VERSA [YIZHAN]

18. Desperate

The rain rides my body and flows down. The thirst for you gets more intense, At the end of this long wandering, it's you. I look ahead. Emotions become pain and grow. Now can I run to you, What if I didn't know you? I think about that. Take me back.-SuperM

•••

Wang Yibo couldn't sleep. Not for several nights. Right now, in the gloominess of his room, he was laying and meditating, as if in the dark he could see everything clearly.

On the other hand, he felt awful. He shouldn't have treated the person he loved most badly, let alone act the way he did. And this, compiled with the fact that he missed Xiao Zhan beyond what is strictly healthy, he couldn't help thinking about anything other than him.

And to top it all, the sweet smell of Xiao Zhan still remained in his bed.

No doubt, it was strange needing his warmth, his bright smile and his rabbit-like teeth. Nonetheless, those eyes that radiate goodness and sincerity, that mole under his lips that highlight his sensuality, his sighs and gasps and the way he proclaimed his name when ecstasy clouded all his senses.

Having him in his arms, caressing every inch of his body, kissing every part of his face, fiddling with that little nose, bitting on those lips that were so compatible, so fitting with his own...

"Shit, Xiao Zhan," Yibo growls breathing deeply against the pillow.

He became indignant. So enraged that he was fooled all this time. Lies are something that Yibo cannot ignore. But, for some strange reason, he's more frustrated with himself than with Xiao Zhan.

Maybe Yibo knew it was too good to be true. That is, he suspected Wei Ying, and yet he let it pass. Xiao Zhan was a perfect man, and technically he had fallen from the sky, like a ring to his finger. Of course, it was quite strange, and that is why Yibo was angry; He knew there was something weird about this "Wei Ying" with an alluring look and incredible abilities.

He was angry, but because in the end his doubts about Xiao Zhan were true. He allowed this to happen, and it was he who kept the unnecessary distance.

If he longed for it so much, then why did he push him away?

"For his sake. For mine. For us." Yibo mutters this time, answering one of the many questions that crossed his mind.

The image of Xiao Zhan smiling slightly upon waking, and Xiao Zhan pouting, of Xiao Zhan blushing, of Xiao Zhan laughing, of...

...Xiao Zhan crying.

"Fuck." Yibo curses.

And no, he just couldn't, stand seeing him like that. He can't stand to see him sad, suffering and helpless. Wang Yibo can't do it, he doesn't even want to remember it ... but there it is, that memory, Zhan's eyes flooded in tears and his voice broken, pleading for forgiveness.

Wang Yibo had nothing to forgive.

"Because I allowed all this to happen ..." he reaffirms, nodding his head momentarily.

That was all. tired of telling himself again and again that over time he will eventually forget Xiao Zhan. He knew damn well that all those feelings for him would remain until the last of his days, and that just drove him crazy.

A rough knock distracts his mind as he opens the door revealing his new assistant . Since he proved Meng Yao had been playing both sides he no longer trusted him and secretly hired someone undoubtedly.
He knew Meng Yao had been missing for a week or two, he somehow found out that Wang Yibo knew his every move.