WASTE • Carl Grimes

Ninteen

Jesus, they don't even know me and they want me here more than I do.

" I'm sure I will " I reply.

" I'll help you find your place here, but just stay, it's safer than it is out there "

" I've been out there my whole life, this place is so foreign to me and it doesn't feel that safe to me " I speak my mind, telling her what I think.

" places like this don't stay around for too long. Give it about a few months and all this, " i gesture to the room.

" it'll all be gone in the blink of an eye " I finish and Michonne sighs.

She pats my back before getting up and walking towards the door. As she's about to close it, she turns around and faces me.

" you're stubborn, Luna. You're also right, it might fall down in a few months, but we're not easy people. This place won't go anywhere anytime soon " she winks at me and leaves, shutting the door behind her.

I let out a sigh and throw myself on the bed, eyes glued to the ceiling before I turn around and look at the time.

2:30 AM

With Michonne's words playing in my head, I head to bed, shutting my eyes as I dream of my parents and the family I have lost.

Of the world I had lost.

••••

4:35 AM

I'm still up. I couldn't sleep.

It wasn't just her words that kept me up, it was everything else.

The thought of never having things back to the way they were once again, finally hits me.

And for the first time in forever, I feel scared and alone.

I gulp and get off the bed, making my way towards the closed door and pulling it open.

I am not going to let some ugly thoughts get to me.

Without any hesitation, I catch myself standing outside of Carl's bedroom. My bare feet glued to the cold wooden floor beneath them as my knuckles slowly make their way to the door.

I knock lightly on his door, knowing that he might be asleep and wouldn't want to wake him up since he has to wake up in about three hours to do his chores.

I stood there for a minute, hoping that maybe, just maybe, he might still be up.

I'm about to walk back to my room when I hear his voice behind me, a smile I didn't know I was hiding making it's way onto my lips.

I turn around and face him. He stands at the door way shirtless with a pair of black shorts loosely hanging over his hips.

Holy shit I'd pay that boy to punch m-

No. No, Luna. What the fuck is going on with me?

" you okay? " he questions. His eyebrows furrowed in worry as he stares down at me.

" can I uh- " I start.

Just say it, it won't mean anything.

" can I sleep with you tonight? " I ask, finally building up the courage to look him in the eye, only to catch him smirking at me before dragging me into his room.

I close the door behind me and sit on the edge of his bed, watching him get comfortable as he lays on his side.

" come here " he pats the empty space in front of him and I smile before laying down beside him.

Our faces inches apart as I try to get comfortable under the sheets.

We laid there for a few minutes, staring at each other with the moonlight shinning through the window right on us.

I felt so safe.

I felt the safest I've ever felt in so so so long.

My heart beating quickly as I stare back at him, my
mind at peace knowing I'm safe with him.

What the hell is he doing to me.

Before I could think about any of this, or try to understand exactly what the hell it is I'm feeling, I feel his thumb on my jaw as his fingers trace the skin behind my ears.

Goosebumps rise at the feeling of his fingers on my skin. I gulp and my lips part in shock.

In just the blink of my eye, I catch myself leaning towards him, until I feel his lips on mine.

Slowly kissing him back as I bring my hands up to his neck.

We both pulled away at the same time, staring at one another in disbelief, yet a feeling of comfort starts to rise within me.

Happiness is another emotion I felt.

And it felt so good.

I didn't care that I had just kissed Carl. All I was thinking about at that moment want him, and the things I'd want him to do to me.

My mind was everywhere. I needed something to shut the thoughts I had out, at least for a few minutes.

Carl suddenly lays down on his back and I climb on top of him, resting on his thighs as I put my hands on the sides of his neck and kiss him again, but with more meaning behind it this time.

His hands rest on my waist as he kisses me back, a smile making its way onto his lips against my own.

Holy shit.