Players always play

Abrubt

Kylies POV
Waking up on Michaels chest I was pretty confused where we were but then slowly the memories registered as well as my headache. But I woke up feeling uneasy and a small snowball of sadness was starting to roll down hill. I slid off Michael and surprisingly he didn't wake up. I quietly walked over to the bathroom and proceeded with my morning routine.
           Glancing down at my pills I decided I should take it now before I hesitate, gulping then down with a glass of water. I noticed Michael was watching me from the door frame, a worried look for a second came upon his face but quickly replaced with a smile. I'm proud of you he states I just smiled him off and headed towards the kitchen to eat something. I decided to cook eggs and bacon for both me and Michael.
We sat in silence eating and it wasn't an uncomfortable one but one where it was who was going to break it first. Would you wanna go out today ? He asked breaking the silence Like ? I asked glancing at him. There's a carnival in the center of town today Derek mentioned going he says timidly. Yeah I'd like that I say smiling shyly at how cute he was. Alright I'll see you at 3 pm sharp missy not a moment later he says as he grabs both of our dishes and places it into the dishwasher. He gave me a kiss goodbye on the cheek and proceeded to leave. Since it was only 11 I figured I'd take a shower and lounge around til I had to get ready.
I glanced at the clock wondering if I would feel a sudden difference and awareness of the drugs that are now going to circulate in my body til I'm the definition of okay in today's world. Is anyone really okay ? I thought to myself. I mean we all have inner thoughts and deeper fears that we bury with a smile. I wonder what Michaels is. My mind started to do 1,000 thoughts per minute like what rides were going to be at the carnival. I felt my anxiety peek and I quickly gained focused, getting out the shower I realized I was in there for a long time and now have only an hour and a half to get ready.
What to wear? Bright eh the sun will go down I have a feeling we will be there longer then the suns expiration. When will the sun expire ? Ugh what's with these side thoughts. My phone dinged snatching me out of my thoughts.
* text from M💛🥺*
" Sorry babe but I'll be picking you up 4-4:30 mom needs me to do something and then I'm all yours 😘"
I replied :
"All good thank you for giving me more time to ponder my outfit 😂💛"
Outfit shit, my closet is a mess now. I started to clean and settled on light washed ripped jeans with a loosely flowing yellow crop top with my yellow vans. Since I have an hour I put on some tv. My mind was feeling hazy and all I wanted to do was sleep but I know I committed to these plans. I didn't even noticed I was in a daze til I heard the horn on blast and my phone ringing. I quickly jumped and grabbed my bag and ran outside, it quickly turned to a low sprint as my energy felt increasingly decreasing.
You look beautiful as ever Michael says I got into his truck. Thank you, you do too I said winking and giving him a kiss. The ride to the carnival was filled with music and day dreaming. I can't wait to sleep I thought to myself. When we arrived all of it looked staged, it's going to look so beautiful once the sun goes down because they put all twinkly lights around the booths. We quickly came upon our friends, Oliver and Lil were there too. A bunch of Hellos were exchanged and we headed to our first ride.
Smile Lil says as she takes out her camera to take a group photo. You've been quiet Derek says glancing at me. Jen glanced back from examining the picture Lil took. I'm admiring the sights I say noticing the looks from the whole group now are focused on me. Awe Lil says They decorated really nicely I say the lights must of taken a long time I add. Yeah very true Michael says throwing his arm over me. Grateful for him having my back and hoping no one is noticing my changes behavior. It's slight not to drastic don't stress I say clenching my fist.
It's not a big deal you're over reacting. Shut up. Ey ey im going crazy. I sunk back into Michaels chest feeling drowsy. There's a party after this Jen says Eh I heard it's going to be wack it's being thrown by that junior Deluca Derek says shrugging. Yeah you're right she says we can throw our own party she adds wiggling her eyes to Derek.
Everyone gagged I stayed quiet not really focusing. It was starting to get dark out and if we went on another ride I'd think I'd pass out. Hey Michael and Oliver came from the funnel cake booth holding drinks and food. I gratefully took a hot dog and water. Thank you I say Oh also this he says giving me a pretzel. Salty he says it's really good I kinda ate one while we were waiting he adds chuckling.
Too cute I say devouring the food. The lights were starting to come on and the sun was setting perfectly. Ferris wheel? Lil asks Hell yeah Oliver says
It was a big seater but Oliver and Lils got on a different carrier then Me, Michael, Jen and Derek. Do you have any fears I ask glancing at Michael. I fear losing my mom and sister he says Also tunnels and tsunamis he adds Oh good to know I say staring at the view. Do you have a fear he asks glancing at me with interest. I thought back to me being raped and all the trauma that followed. What is there to fear when I've come so close to ending it I thought to myself. Spiders I say emotionless, suddenly feeling very cold. Ah yeah they're creepy Jen says
I don't know when the exact moment happened when I felt my inner emotions snapped and it was like literally running a marathon but staying in place. Inside all my emotions were spiking but externally I was calm. I was losing it and I couldn't do anything about it. I was ruining a perfect night.
Do you wanna smoke? Michael asked glancing between Oliver and me Huh? No I'm okay I say Nah she's okay bro we're gonna head home now he says Fuck he noticed I wasn't paying attention did Oliver say something.
The drive was filled with Michaels playlist. I promised my sister I'd put her to bed tonight I'll come back after he asked glancing at me. Unless you want to stay at my place ? He asks Its okay um if you don't mind I'd rather go home either way I do I don't have my clothes I say smiling so I don't seem off. Okay I should be around at 11 okay I love you he says I love you too drive safe I say getting out the car.