Players always play

Alone

Kylies POV
As I was heading inside I couldn't help but overhear the excitement that was waiting for me and I didn't want to partake. All I wanted was to sleep and avoid all these feelings. Looking through the glass sliding doors Michael was laughing at something Derek was saying and he looked so happy. I don't think I can ever make him as happy as he looks now. I took a few steps back when that thought peered in my head. I can't drag him down anymore, I am to be alone in my own misery, he can't keep worrying about me or stop having fun. Just as I started to head towards the door again Kace appeared.
Hey you wanna smoke he asked with Jules holding up the weed. Yes please I said Aiigh let's go he says and headed around the cabin to his car. I hopped in the back seat while Jules sat passenger. He gave me a blunt to spark while Jules sparked one and he rolled another. The cyph lasted about an hour and to say I was high was a complete understatement, I was beyond reach for the sky's. Felt good, I felt numb and peaceful. We headed back inside and I followed them to the kitchen where everyone was taking shots. Michael was sitting off to the side sipping his cup while Derek was talking to him about something. Hey guys I said walking up to them. Hey skunk Derek said chuckling I sat on Michaels legs and he wrapped his arm around my torso. How much did you smoke he asked Enough to not be worried about I said coldly. He was taken aback by my answer and Derek walked away from the convo sending the tension. What's up with you he asks lowly not trying to draw attention from his friends.
Nothing I don't want to worry you, you have fun when I'm not the problem I say You're never the problem Kylie he says letting go of my torso and trying to sit up so I get off of him. I stood up looking down to him sitting and placed my hands on his legs. Looking straight into his eyes, I don't even make you happy I say a single tear fell slid out my eye. I wiped it quickly and walked away grabbing two beers off the counter and heading to the stairs. I remember Thomas saying something about the roof top and I just wanted to be alone.
I finally made it to the top after three floors and opened the beer can. Alone you are again my fathers voice said This time he sat next to me calmly. What will you do he asks What do you mean I ask Will you finally stop trying to fight what you really are or will you continue to subdue the monster you really are he says I'm not a monster I say Oh but you are everything I am and that is what you called me he says his tone getting harsher. I peered over the edge, Kylie! A voice shouted I almost slipped and a hand steadied me. Derek I say peering at him. Were you just going to he says trailing off. No I say looking away, I wasn't I was just looking I said a chill crawled down my spine. I'm seeing my father everywhere I say looking around to see if he's there again. What do you mean Kylie he passed away He says I know that I say rolling my eyes I just see him. Does he say anything? he asks  Yes I say low What does he say to you he asks a look of concern growing on his expression.
         He tells me to kill myself and Michael will be better off without me I say looking down at my hands. Come on maybe we should go back home he says I don't want to be a party pooper I say You're not maybe you need your meds again he says as we walk back into the cabin. When we made it down to the first floor Michael had been conversing with Jenna but stopped when he noticed we were walking towards them. Hey Kye Jenna said Hey I said Where'd you go ? Michael asked Just walked around Derek says glancing at me. Can we talk he says giving a nod to Jenna to go the other way. What's up Michael ask Derek glancing at me. I think Kylie should go home he starts and after that I kinda zoned out til Michael said Kylie ! Waving a hand in front of my face. Do you wanna go ? He asks Nah I don't know what Dereks going off about but just everyone needs to back off I say walking away. I wanted to be alone, I felt alone so why not be it. I bumped into Oliver, Hey Kylie.. what's up he says analyzing my face. Everyone just keeps asking me if I want to go home like am I that bothersome to be around I say No I think they're just worried he says
I get it I do but dam like I just wanna disappear I said and walked away from him and left to the room. Once I got there I crashed onto the bed and sleep soon enveloped me.
Michaels POV
After Kylie walked away from us I went to go after but Derek stopped me. She's seeing her dad he said looking worried. What does that even mean ? I asked confused as shit last I checked her Dad had passed away along with mine. It's her suicidal thoughts taking form into someone who will drive her to edge he said fiddling with his hands. I wanna take her to a therapist he adds You think it's that bad I ask Well in terms I always thought it was bad but Kylie has never once gotten to the point of wanting to off herself he says
She made a promise to my brother that she would never give up on her life he said Am I making her worse I ask feeling self conscious of myself. Maybe I'm not enough. To be frank I don't know, I don't think you do I just never seen her like this he says. Well there was after what her dad did but even then she never thought of killing herself he says I didn't want to hear anymore and walked away from him going towards our room hoping that's where she went.