boys //ziam

chapter thirty-nine

jordan instantly sobers up. he pinches the side of his hand, hoping to wakeup from the nightmare he's dreaming. there's no way his father, who he hasn't met before is the person standing in front of him. it's not possible.

"i'm dreaming, aren't i? this is a dream, y-you're not real," jordan shakes his head. "wake up jordan, wake up."

"you're not dreaming kid but fuck, i've dreamed of meeting you again for so long i can't tell either," the man claiming to be his father says. he walks forward, trying to hug jordan but jordan pushes him away.

"stay the fuck away from me," jordan says. he sees a hurt expression on the man's face and he actually feels a bit guilty.

"jordan-"

"stay away!" jordan yells.

"jordan, you're not thinking straight the drugs are still in your system,"

"i know what i'm doing," jordan says, turning around and looking for an exit as his heart races. "you kidnapped and tortured me."

"you're being delusional," he shakes his head. "i was trying to help you."

"by spraying me with a hose? it's fucking cold," jordan says. "and you threatened to throw me down six stories. who the fuck does that?"

"jordan-"

"i said stay away!"

"jordan if you could just calm down and-"

"and if i don't? you'd spray me with the hose again?"

"shut up and listen to me!" he raises his voice, actually getting jordan to back away in surprise. "do you think i wanted us to meet like this? do you know how long i've longed to meet you but couldn't? and then i stumbled into you, in the middle of new york out of nowhere high out of your fucking mind. you're lucky it was me and not someone who actually wanted to hurt you."

"what are you even doing here jordan? why are you taking drugs? how old are you now, sixteen? you're way too young to be throwing your life away like this," he says.

jordan scoffs and folds his hands. "you're one to talk."

"yes, i'm one to talk from experience. i threw my life away jordan, i lost out on being your father, i lost everything. of fucking course i don't want my son to make the same mistakes i did. so if that means i have to 'kidnap and torture' you for you to have a better chance than i did then i'm more than okay with that," he says. "it would kill me to find out that you turned out like me."

"i'm not going to turn out like you!" jordan yells.

"no, seems like you're on your way to being worse. i never did drugs at sixteen," he says.

"you're an asshole and you have no right to judge me. you were never in my life and the only thing you've ever given to me is a mental illness," jordan says, causing the older man's expression to change. he doesn't look angry anymore.

"i'm sorry," he says. "fuck i'm so damn sorry, i didn't know- i know you must hate me but i don't want you to throw your life away jordan."

"i'm not throwing my life away, you don't know anything about me,"

"i know you're troubled. i know how you feel. you're surrounded by people all the time but yet you still feel alone, you make reckless decisions not because you don't care about consequences but because you think you deserve bad things happening to you," he says. "i know what it's like because i've lived it jordan, and if you don't get help soon you're going to ruin your life. the drugs will ruin you."

jordan, for the first time in his life doesn't have a thing to say. the fact that his father could describe how he feels so perfectly by knowing him in just a few minutes has him taken aback. no one has been able to describe him accurately, not even when he attended therapy.

"i don't take drugs," he finally finds the words to say. "today was.. today was just a fluke, i went clubbing with some friends and things got out of hand. i don't usually take any drugs, i mean sure i smoke weed but who doesn't? i'm not stupid enough to try hard drugs so don't think i'm some dumb druggie."

the man actually looks relieved to hear that. "i don't think that."

"i don't really care what you think. i have to go," jordan says, he feels like his mind is clear enough to remember how he got here so he starts to retrace his footsteps back. "goodbye."

"wait, jordan," the man runs up to him. "you could stay longer, i could make a cup of tea and we can talk."

"about what?" jordan asks.

"everything," he replies. "remember when you reached out to me some months ago and-"

"no, that was before i knew you fucking abused my mom!" jordan yells, causing the man to flinch. "he had ptsd after leaving you, did you know that? he didn't talk to me after finding out i had the same disorder as you, that's how much you hurt him, he can't look at his own son sometimes because i remind him of you."

"i'm sorry," he looks down ashamed. "i could never forgive myself for what i did to zayn."

"i can't forgive you either," jordan says. "i think you can understand... this can't work, we're not meant to have a relationship. i've always wanted to meet you though and i have, thanks for trying to set me on the right part but i know what i'm doing."

"i understand. just remember, i love you, always," he says. "no matter what, don't doubt that."

"okay," jordan says. he walks with his father to the entrance of the apartment. "goodbye... dad."

"javier, i heard yelling, what's up?" someone comes out from inside the apartment. it's a guy, well he looks kind of young, jordan thinks he could be his age or harry's age.

"you come out of your room now?" his father shakes his head.

"i was busy," the guy replies then he looks at jordan and his mouth opens wide. "holy fuck, is this him?"

"yes. jordan, this is freddie, freddie, meet jordan," his father introduces.

"fuck javier this is fucking huge. he looks exactly like you," freddie says.

"don't scare him," javier says to freddie quietly.

jordan looks a bit uncomfortable, he doesn't understand their relationship and he doesn't know if he should ask. sure he's curious but that could lead to more conversation and allow him to stay longer. he wants to, don't get him wrong. meeting his biological father is something he's always dreamed of since he was a kid. he even dreamt about it once, about his father being a secret agent and that's the reason why he couldn't be there for him. but being around the man has him feeling sick, like he's betraying his mom somehow and he needs to leave before the urge to get to know his father gets stronger than his loyalty to his mother.

so he gives freddie a quick wave and decides to leave. he brings out his phone which has been on silent on his pocket and he sees dozens of calls and messages from his mom and dad. he doesn't feel like talking to his parents right now so he ignores the messages and orders for an uber back to his hotel room instead.

...

short but i felt like this should be a chapter on its own.

what do you guys think about jordan's father/javier?

thoughts about how jordan reacted?

guesses on who freddie might be? (lmao this is fucking obvious though)

should i write more of jordan's dad or should this chapter be the end of him?

vote and comment please!