Alive

Chapter 38

Elle

(Thursday, May 23)

"I apologize." Kirk's finger slips out. He drags his hand down my thigh, then up my nightgown. To my shoulder. "Your performance was stunning."

My heart pounds as he reaches behind him. Grabs my hand.

"Unfortunately..." He presses his thumb against my wrist. Twists it back. There's a clatter as the keys fall to the floor. He catches my eye. "It was just a performance."

I can only watch as he stands. Retrieves the keys. Slips them into his pocket.

"Foolish, Ellie, is an adjective. The description of a particular behavior." His voice is cold as he looks at me. I just stare at the ground. Shaking. "But make no mistake. I am no fool."

He strides to the door but pauses as he grasps the handle.

"It did give me a thought, though." He smiles as I meet his eyes. "The human mind is weak to repetition. Tell it something long enough, it will believe it. I'll tell you what." He turns, walking back over to me. Then he kneels down. "I'll go along with it. I like a good game. You keep up the act. Try to get these." He pulls out his keys. Dangles them in front of my face. "And I will show you what life could be for you—were you to be with me."

My hand is between my legs. I can't stop rubbing the nightgown over myself. Twisting the fabric. Wiping away his germs. I need a shower.

"Deal?" he asks. I look at him. At this monster. And I'm angry. Humiliated.

Desperate.

"Deal," I whisper.

"Good," he says. "Give me a kiss."

I give him a kiss.

He smiles. "Cheer up, Ellie. Give it enough time. You won't even want these anymore."

He tosses the keys into the air. But snatches them before I can. Then he shoves them into his pocket.

"There will be a celebration tonight," he says, rising. "In honor of my inauguration. Lucas will bring your dress." He glances over his shoulder at me. "Makeup, too. Do you wish for a wig?"

"A wig?" I look up at him.

"You know," he says, gesturing to my head.

"How about clippers?" I ask, glaring at him.

"Such wildness," he says, smiling. Then he turns. "I shall see you tonight, my darling."

Which makes me wonder what time it is. I thought it already was nighttime. I guess I was wrong.

So I just sit here on the carpet. Scraping at my skin, waiting for hours. But it happens eventually. Lucas comes in with his cart. This time I eat, but only because I have to. I can't die. Not if there's a chance for escape. So I chew on the grilled cheese. Wash it down with the glass of water.

"Here, Mistress Ellenor." Lucas holds up a pile of folded clothes outside the bathroom door. "As Master Fane requested."

"Master Fane," I repeat, glancing over the light pink fabric. Looks like silk. "Why do you call him that?"

"It is his title," Lucas says. "As Elder."

"Elder," I say. "So what, they rule the world or something?"

He's quiet.

"What about Mrs. Fane, then," I say. "Will she be there tonight?"

"Please reserve your questions for Master Fane," Lucas says. "I am a mere servant, Mistress Ellenor."

"It's Elle," I mutter, taking the pile. Then I look him up and down. "You get paid a lot?"