Avengers One Shots (COMPLETED)

Shopping with Steve: a youtube video

Steve still has his beard from Infinity War because that beard was v sexy.

"What's up gays? It's me Peter B Parker and I'm shopping with my Uncle Steve and my brother Bucky who are dating. Like not everyone can say that their Uncle and brother are dating."
The camera showed a man with a beard pushing a trolley and a man with a beard and hair down to his shoulders.

"Don't you mean 'guys'?"
Steve asked.

He was still very new to Peter's slang.

"Nope. I meant gays. So anyways, we are in Target because we are and because Walmart still isn't open like it's not 6:40 in the frickity morning!"
Peter shouted at Steve.

"Well, the earlier we are, the better things we'll be getting. We used to do it when we needed something back in the day."
Steve countered.

"Fine. So, the first thing we are getting is Pop Tarts because Uncle Thor loves them."
Peter took the whole row of Pop Tarts and dumped them in the trolley.

"Peter, we need healthy stuff as well."
Steve warned.

"But the Pop Tarts aren't for me, they're for Uncle Thor!"
Peter shouted.

"Just leave the old man alone. He's stressing over being healthy."
Bucky whispered to Peter but the camera caught it.

"You're older than him!"
Peter shouted.

"Please be quiet, there are other shoppers."
A tired worker scolded them.

"There's literally no one here but ok. Now next on the list is, toilet paper."
Peter naruto ran over to the toilet paper, the camera shaking.

"Shteven, the toilet paper is here!" Yes, I sometimes say 'Shteven'

"Peter, I can't see how much it is, so come over here."
Steve pointed to the spot in front of him.

Peter galloped over to the spot and Steve put his hands under Peter's armpits.

"I'm gonna lift you up and you're gonna tell me how much it is."
Steve didn't give Peter enough time to answer before he was lifted into the air, the camera shaking and blurring everything.

"How much?"

"$9.99."

"I'm no paying that much for fucking toilet roll."
Steve said quietly.

"lE gAsP! cApTaIn LaNgUaGe SaId A sWeAr WoRd! BuCk! ScOlD hIm!"

Both men stared at the teenager.

"How could you get your voice like that?"
Steve asked, edging away from the teenager.

"lIkE wHaT?¿?"
Peter asked.

"Like that!"
Bucky shouted.

"mY vOiCe Is NoRmAl So I hAvE nO iDeA wHaT yOu'Re TaLkInG aBoUt."
Peter naruto ran over to the ice cream isle with Bucky close behind him.

"peTER NO! Don't lick the ice cream!"
Bucky shouted at him when he saw him taking a tub of ice cream out of the freezer.

"Chill Bucky. Oh wait you're literally called 'The Winter Soldier' lol I'm so hilarious."
Yes, he did say 'lol' out loud.

The video cut to Steve's nose in the camera.

"Is this on? Buck, the red lights on? Does that mean it's on?"
Steve asked.

"I don't know! You've been in this century longer than me! And stop shouting!"
Bucky whispered angrily.

"Ok I think it's on. So somehow he managed to sleep in the trolley so Buck got him on his back."
The camera showed a tired Bucky with a teenager on his back.

The camera turned black before cutting for the last time.

Comments:

🖤MCRFAN🖤:
Who is this boy? How does he know the Avengers?

💀pool:
That boy looks cute. Underage but cute.

TinyStank:
That is my son Rogers! Harm him and I will kick your patriotic ass back to the 40's.

BlackWidowis🥵:
This kid is amazing. How haven't I heard of him before.

Katniss:
Ah so that's why he was asleep on Bucky's back when you guys got back.

Now this is pure crack.

—Penguin 🐧