It's Christmas Time!
I have such a beautiful home and I can't wait to decorate, we just moved in and I've got a good job now.
I know this will fix it all, we'll get better now. I can feel it, it's gotta happen... right?
I couldn't text him that much at work, it was really busy. He was acting crazy as usual, calling me all types of names and saying TERRIBLE things. My phone died, my shift was eventually over and I got my phone to turn onto 2% surprisingly! So I text him to tell him I'm done and to come get me and I loved him. He told me "Find your own ride home bitch" eventually my manager left, and hour goes by. Two hours. Three hours.. 30 minutes. He pulls up, expressionless.
Upon waiting 3 different people had asked me if I needed a ride home, including my male manager before he left the store in which I declined. He's coming, maybe he's running later, or something happened with the car. He'd get here.
Three hours and 30 minutes I cried off and on repeatedly telling myself he's coming. Chain smoking cigs. With a hoodie and jeans on because I forgot my coat at home and didn't expect to be outside in the cold. I was freezing in probably 30 degree weather. I knew he was coming.
When I got in the car he started yelling telling me I was texting my ex who was in state prison and demanding I admit it. I held my hands up to the heat and cried saying I don't know what your talking about... I swore I didn't... but I felt crazy enough to consider I did and just figure out a way to blame myself and make him happy again..
The whole ride home I was just silently excited to see my pretty house. I'd put up the tree by our big front living room windows. I decorated inside and even had cute things in the windows . I was excited to go home and cuddle my puppy. We got home and by the time he pulled up he'd stop yelling. He was holding my hand as he drove, if I could just keep it that way..
We pulled up to the house, all my decorations outside in the windows were outside in the grass.
When I got inside our room was destroyed everywhere and all my drawers empty and strewn everywhere along with anything I had in my paperwork filing drawer. EVERYTHING I own was EVERYWHERE. I looked around, he jumped into bed and said "I'm sorry please come to bed I'll help you clean it tomorrow". I cleaned it by myself that night when I couldn't sleep from a nightmare of him. But I laid with him, I held him and kissed his forehead. I told him I loved him.
Man did I love him..
