Have to do it now
Or else it won't come out
I'll drown in a sea of doubt created from my own mind it feels like I can almost bend time because I'm stuck in the fucking past
and I can't fucking relax
and every sound has come back
and now isn't the time to slack
but every motion feels as big as the ocean
and every thought seems to trot
through my worst memories
even if it isn't true
That it was me
And it wasn't you
My fault because I chose to flee
Even if that wasnt what was meant to be
Or what I was supposed to do
The thought of breathing
has my entire being consumed
There's nothing I can do
My brain is a zoo
and the animals are looking for food
but instead they eat at the good
Drag me in the mud
And make sure to uncover the bad
It happens so fast
And somehow my thoughts wonder off
to my dad
And why it didn't last
And why did I have to be so fucking bad
Why didn't I answer the fucking phone
I feel like I'm looking at life without him from a drone
Out of body
Out of my mind
And what about my boy ty
And his grave
Because I wasn't there the day
they put his casket down
I was stuck in a loop of that sad town
And I didn't get to get a lock of my dads hair
And I hope everyday he knows I did care
And my baby girl is gone
Fuck i can't even say much about that I'm about to drown
Deep breath
From the ground
how does anyone expect me to wear
this supposed crown
Because I don't feel like royalty
or holy at best
I feel like the dirt
they used to lay my boy to rest
And it all leads back to you
And all of your abuse
You didn't hesitate to lose
You didn't let me choose
You tore me limb from limb and threw me underwater knowing I can't swim
And now the man I love suffers because it's hard for me to uncover
Every piece
That you burned in flames
Fuck I can't even bear to play this game
Why do I feel useless like I'm waiting for something big
Like one day I won't have to dig
Through this pain and I'll be sane
But until then I'm fucking stuck in my brain and the panel walls are starting to flame and your eyes fall like rain
Telling me one time once more
You loved me so no one could no more
Your love is acid it burned my soul
And left me hanging on by my soles
And you've come back with a vengeance only I can hear
Because your words echo forever, I beg god to make it weather and take me from here
Lord please
Take
Me
Home
I miss my daughter.
