millie's pov:
finn had asked to come over to my house so we could talk, which was strange. finn never asked to come over, it was always him asking for me to come over to his house. i told him that he could, my mom wasn't home anyways, she had gone christmas shopping with her friend, amanda.
i was waiting around to hear a knock on the door, or the sound of a car pull up outside of my house. it was taking a while, but i understood. it was early. but just as if it was on cue, there was a knock at my door.
instantly rushed to it, to see finn stood there.
"hey, come in." i said, pulling polly away as she tried to get out of the door.
"thanks." he replied, walking in.
he didn't look too happy, his eyes were puffy and his lips were chapped. he just looked sad, and tired. we walked up to my room and both sat on my bed. i laid down and opened my arms for him, he instantly walked to the bed and dropped on me.
i hugged him tightly, knowing that he needed it.
"just tell me when you're ready to talk." i said, playing with his curls.
"okay." he replied.
we stayed in silence for around twenty minutes, just appreciating each other's presence. the only sounds heard were our breathing and slight movement from when we moved around. he lifted himself up and looked at me. his eyes turned glossy, like he was going to cry.
he took my hands within his own, i was worried about what he was going to tell me. the anxiety was running wild in my body, and i didn't know what to say or do to make it go away. my heart was beating so loud and so fast that i would be surprised if he couldn't heart it.
"the results came back." he said as a tear fell down his face.
i couldn't tell if the news was gonna be bad or good. i was leaning more towards bad, which made my head spin and throb in the most painful way. o heard him take a deep breath.
"i have three weeks left." he told me.
that's when my head went black, and i couldn't process the words he had told me. my hands were shaky and my chest at brought out the feeling of heartbreak that i hadn't felt in so long. just looking at the precious boy in front of me, and knowing that soon he would definitely be gone, almost killed me.
it felt like a silent heart attack, but it was just my heart breaking to one thousand pieces inside of me. it shattered like a glass window, falling to the bottom of my stomach to stay there for years on end. i would never get over that news, ever. i couldn't ever imagine myself not thinking about finn every single day.
"who knows?" i asked with endless tears falling.
"just you, sadie and my parents. i still need to tell everybody else." he replied, wiping his tears.
"so you and sadie spoke? that's great." i said, wiping my tears too.
"yeah." he replied.
****
just like the first time wasn't enough, i had to watch finn tell everybody else. we were all at noah's house again. sadie looked truly broken, the bags under her eyes were way too visible, and her hair was just put into a ponytail. she hadn't cracked a smile throughout the whole day.
everybody burst into tears once finn had told them about it, even caleb. caleb and finn had grown very close too. gaten, he handled the news the worst. he hadn't said a word in four hours, which was strange for gaten. noah obviously comforted him, even though he was broken too.
"the energy in here is too depressing." sadie said, "let's go and do something, something fun."
"it's seven thirty pm, what could we possibly do?" caleb asked.
"let's go for a walk. hey! i have a good idea. let's all go to the old field that gaten, finn and i used to when we were younger. it's filled with fireflies." sadie said as her eyes lit up for the first time.
"yeah, let's do that." finn said, standing up.
soon enough, we were all on our way to a field. finn was holding my hand, and we were almost there. sadie lead the way, and gaten was giving noah a piggy back. caleb walked with sadie, finn and i just trailed behind. he seemed at ease how he had told everybody.
once we got to the field, it was just a plain field.
"we walked all the way for this?" noah asked.
"no, stupid. run your hand through it." finn said, letting go of my hand.
"why?" noah asked.
"just do it." finn said.
noah hesitantly ran his hand through the high grass, and a lot of little lights just flew out of that one part of grass. i gasped as i watched the beautiful lights fly up. it was strange how some bugs were so creepy, yet some made the most beautiful sights. i looked at finn, and his face was lit up from the little lights of the bugs, and the moonlight.
"run through it." he told me.
"come with me?" i asked.
"let's all do it." he said.
on the count of three, we all ran through the grass, and countless amounts of lights flew up. sadie filmed it on her phone, and i took a picture of it with my camera. it turned out i got a very priceless, off guard picture of gaten and finn.
they were both smiling whilst looking up at the lights. as much as finn claimed that gaten annoyed him, there was no denying in the fact that gaten was his best friend, maybe not as much as sadie was, but he was. the happiness in each other's eyes as they looked at each other was something that nobody could ever replace.
i looked at caleb and noah who were sat on a hill, watching it. sadie was looking at one of the bugs that landed on her hand. she had a smile on her face, finally. i took a picture of her with the bug on her hand, i loved off guard photographs.
"this is amazing." i said, looking up.
"i know, right. we always used to come here when we were kids. we felt special because we were the only ones that knew about it." sadie let out a laugh.
i smiled, "it's so beautiful."
we all walked up the hill and joined noah and caleb on top of it. the weather was cold, but the moment distracted us all from that. there was no distractions in priceless moments that you would never get back, ever. that day was only ever going to exist right then and there, so i made sure i made the most out of every single day.
sure, there would be that same date for years and years on, but never the same exact time. we were only going to be seventeen for three hundred and sixty-five days, or for finn, he would turn eighteen on december 23rd, i hoped so bad that he would make it until then. he was supposed to.
twenty one days, i had left with him. that's all any of us had left with him. i would make sure for the five hundred and four hours, that i would focus on the time i had left, and celebrate that. not how depressing it would be after those hours had gone. i lived in the moment, not the future.
never the future, the future will come, so just wait for that. but the moment you are in now, you will never get again.
