Dirty Gold [LT Fanfiction]

Prolouge

"He didn't make it. I'm sorry, Mrs. DeGranpé ."

My mom burst into tears when she heard the confirmation that my father is dead. His long war with spinal cancer is finally over. As strong as my father was, he just couldn't win this battle.

"Mommy, stop crying," I grabbed her face and tried to sooth her. I'm on the verge of crying too, but I have to be strong for her. Therefore, you can't tell that I feel any kind of emotion. I'm confused and unsure of what to do. Mom can't hold herself because she's breaking down, and Dad is gone. That only leaves one person: me. The 13 year old.

But I do; my heart is rapidly growing colder and shattered, I'm on the verge of breaking down, so many thoughts of "What now?" are flooding my head. My father took part of me to Heaven with him, but you can't tell. All people can see is a girl with a straight face.

Since hearing that he's passed, the first thing Mama said to me was, "Let's go home, Rayne." I watched her as her expressions changed; from sad to angry, angry to sad. Is she upset about his death or is she blaming herself? I don't know.

I get visions from this every time I stand in the mirror and think. I see Mom and Dad in me. Dad's green eyes and naturally ruby eyes and his French; Mom's curly hair, curvaceous figure and her African American and Egyptian. I sound like a science project, and I see it all.

Going down my body, I look at the red amulet on my neck. I touch it and grab it. It just rests on my neck, neglected until times like this.

I remember it oh, so clearly.

"Baby girl," he called to me from his death bed, "Come here." I was so happy that he was finally talking--that I could talk to him instead of watching him sleep. "Dad!" I got excited.

"Here," he put the amulet over my neck. "Don't lose it. Remember me. Please."

"What? What do you mean?"

Beeeeeeeeeeeeep.....

 And just like that, he was gone despite how many people attempted to revive him.

He loved Mama very much. She's never told me he's cheated on her, but I've never heard the same on her side. Has she cheated on Dad? I'll never know, but it's all years in the past.

I needed my mother then more than ever. She knew this too, but she neglected my need for her affection. But how can she show someone affection at a moment like this? His death changed her too for the worst.  I watched her go from legging to fishnets, coffee to alcohol, classy to truancy, soft to hard. 

I had to ignore the fact that I'd see a different man coming out my mother's room ever night and day.  had to stay strong for Rai, my baby sister. She was born exactly at the right time: a month after my dad died. Before Mom started her wrong-doings. I look at Rai and I see me, and when I look at me, I see Dad. Man, I look just like him. 

We look just like him.

 "Are you okay?" Laurent hugs me from behind.
"I'm fine," I tell him with my damp voice.
"Just thinking?"
"Yes."
"It comes back to haunt you all the time."
"Just not as often as it used to."

I honestly don't know what he sees in me. Yeah, I may be "sexy" and all, but people don't look past the lust. I guess I can take what I get.

"We got you," his twin brother, Larry, hugs me.
"No matter what?" I ask.

"No matter what."